Frisco, Part II

and then I said to myself.. the time has come to post the other half of the San Fran Extravaganza! I know, it’s been a long time coming now.
and you cheered in your brain.. some of you cheered audibly.. some did a victory dance.. and some spit their water at their computer screen in disgust.. and maybe some just blinked in indifference.
REGARDLESS!.. without further adieu..

Saturday: my actual birthday

we rose early to hit a little place.. you might’ve heard of it.. it’s called Alcatraz. yeah. the prison. only I would purposely go to prison for my 25th birthday.
so we rode a bus trolley thing. I don’t know what it was. and we breakfasted.
while Tara and Ang modeled.
then we waited in line
and we cruised
like this
and then we stopped hiking traffic on the island

it was gorgeous outside. we took too many photos. (this is a shocking revelation. contain yourself.)
we toured the facilities
we cruised back with the Swedes and their bananas. they talked about the Mormons and our lack of beer. they were rad.


then we fooded at Boudin’s Bakery. sourdough bread bowl + clam chowder = wow. and THEN, if that wasn’t enough, we went to Ghirardelli Square. as in… chocolate from the Celestial Kingdom.
and that’s where we met some new friends from L.A. I give you Jon, Tim, Justin, and Ryan:
they were behind us in line. Ryan started up conversation with me. we sat together. Cam made them sing happy birthday to me. we made plans for later.
we went to the Exploratorium.
most.beautiful.grounds.EVER. and they were chock-full of brides being photographed.
inside was a world of magical hands-on science. the following pic was our (mine and Cam’s) favorite part of it. we sat here for ages. on this screen, warmth is white and cold is dark. notice the handprint on my hair where I had just barely touched it. I mean.. where a ghost appears to be blessing me.
Cam bubbled Tara’s head after she got mad at the kids hogging the exhibit.
and many more Exploratorium antics ensued.
then we went to get bay cruise tickets and hit the Aquarium while we waited.
and stuff like that. sharks scare me to the core. I almost ran through that part.
and then we cruised the bay. but first, we posed for the picture that they took of us at everything we went to. we didn’t buy any of them, but I sneaked a phone pic of this one. we smiled like normal and closed our eyes on 3. on purpose. and then acted like nothing had happened. this pic makes me cackle.
the cruise was freaking cold. but we got to sit behind a genuine ed hardy cholo with star earrings and his lady with the shaved and penciled on eyebrows. it was golden.
hey Frisco… you have a cool bridge.
and some cute sea lions
on the way back, poor Angie started to get sick. it happened to coincide with being on a boat that her 24-hour flu bug kicked in.. apparently it came from Colorado where she was just before San Fran. we took a taxi back to the hotel. we had a missionary moment with the cute cab driver. he was in love with a Mormon girl. it was cool. I love the Gospel.
Cam and I prepped to go out to dinner with Ryan and company. Ang was too ill. Tara stayed to keep her company. they surprised us with reservations at the Cheesecake Factory. mmm! it was fab. and we did a little dancing afterwards. it was an awesome way to end a birthday.

Sunday

go home day. sadface. San Fran cried to see us leaving and rained all morning. our plane was delayed. we spent pretty much the whole day in planes and airports. it was not the coolest. but we did have the most hilarious flight attendant I have ever heard of on the flight home from Phoenix. we were cracking up. I wish I had it all recorded, you would’ve died.
here’s T and me on the plane. (note: despite what it looks like, I am wearing a fedora. not a boat hat. just clearin that up.)
and that’s pretty much what happened.

it was a great way to ring in a landmark birthday. let’s hope this year of my life includes awesome things.
(so far we’re starting off well. I just started a new job instructing a couple of medical administrative classes at a college –yes I just said teaching college. who let me do that? well I found out yesterday that I beat out 30 other people that were interviewed for it. sweet. it’s a pay raise and an awesome opportunity. it started off as stressful for the point of near tears and possible death, but it’s slowly getting better. and my students make it fulfilling because they think I’m a good teacher and they feel like they’re actually learning things. yes. ok. own horn tooted. sidenote finished.)

peace and love.

Advertisements

so fresh in frisco

well kids. since I often use this blog as my travel log mostly for myself to be able to look back on my sweet vacays more than I’m sure you care about the details of my trips.. it’s that time again! I will be using photos taken by myself, Cam, and Tara, without their permission. sorry friends.

last weekend, Cambria, Tara, Angie, and myself ventured to the land of San Francisco to celebrate my 25th birthday. yikes. the old age begins to set in.
but I’m tellin ya.. Cali style is the way to go for ringing in landmark birthdays. it was quite the awesome little trip, packed with great adventures. put on your seatbelts, keep your hands and arms where I can see them, and note the nearest exit. this one’s gonna be long. in fact, I’ma do it in shifts. here’s the first half of the trip.

there was a lot of travel time because we layed over both on the way home and on the way back in order to save dinero. (except Ang who flew directly from Colorado from another vacation. she lives it up.)appropriately, the first photo of the trip was this, taken by Cam as she and I checked our bags…
please note the sign above Tara’s head, and laugh with us.
and then we waited.. and took a photo or two.
and then our plane activities included:

and lots of talking…and laughing…and the male flight attendant flirting at us.
oh and what you half see in Cam’s hand above is frozen yogurt from Pinkberry. we lost our Pinkberry virginity in L.A. and we loved it. so delicious.

then we finally arrived in San Fran!!! and we were pretty sure we were going to lose our lives as we struggled to find and take the BART (basically like the subway) to the area of our hotel. fortunately on the airport light rail we sat by a very nice guy named Steven, who is a local. he directed our path and helped us figure out BART tickets and told us good restaurants to hit up. he was a godsend at that moment. once on BART, I counted and we literally had 7 dudes sitting around us looking shady and watching our every move. no photos were taken because we are not that stupid. after we made our way to Powell Street and Union Square at long last, we were accosted by yelling homeless men at every turn. one tried desperately to give us directions as we looked at a map. luckily we found our way without much trouble and we were quite close, right in the center of all the action at Union Square. and then angel choirs sang and a pillar of light illuminated the surrounding area as we realized our hotel was right next door to the largest H&M we had ever seen. (this store does not exist in Utah.. but we are absolutely obsessed.)
our hotel was very cool. we neglected to take photos of the wicked awesome decor.. so.. this is what it looks like. but a lot smaller than those photos make it look. but it was cool. we just needed beds. we had plans.
here we are Cam and I exploring it.. and Tara photographing our mulis.. and Cam looking like a midget in the background. hahaha.
and then it was out to dinner to the Mason Street Diner, at the recommendation of the concierge, in the middle of the night.
my turkey avocado sandwich was delish. excuse the blurry phone pic.
and the half of Cam’s Santa Fe something or other that I traded for was even better. and I think we weirded out the Swedish waitress by asking for a side of mayo to make fry sauce. but whatev. that trend needs to catch on worldwide. end of story.

Friday
Angie arrives in the morning and we, of course, had to get a group shot now that we were complete:
we headed out on the town to buy our City Passes and start our sightseeing.. but the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (SFMOMA) was not open till 11. wanh wanh wanh.
I love this photo by Cam of us outside the doors.. just waiting with our electronics:
so we headed across the street to walk around a little town square thing that we found. I still don’t know what it was, exactly.. but it was lovely.
photo on self-timer by Cam:

there was a gorgeous garden up there. we took an excessive number of pics. (seriously.) I’ll spare you and just post a flower one that I took.
(the above and the following are all by Cam.)

basically this city is beautiful. everything is artsy and if it isn’t.. it doesn’t fit there. the design, the style, the everything just screams swagger. I could post so many pictures from Fri morning that it would take up pages. but that would be not so exciting for you, readers.. so I’ll restrain.
except this one I took.. because it makes me laugh so hard. every. time.
and then the SFMOMA finally opened.. so we hit it up. it was pretty fabulous. I saw multiple works by Picasso and Andy Warhol and Ansel Adams, just to scratch the surface of naming a few. it was basically heavenly.
the following are some photos we could get in the limited allowed areas.. and a couple that we sneaked:

and then we rode the bus to Chinatown for lunch at City View or something like that.
the staff barely spoke English and was irritated at us for not knowing what we were doing. but it was good food.
and then we walked around and took another bazillion photos.
here are a couple:
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PHOTO IS NOT WORK-APPROPRIATE
bahahaha. yes that’s what you think it is. yes that really happened. photo by Cam.
and then we walked to the trolley stop to take a ride.
here we are waiting
because we pose like cheeseballs on the regular while waiting.
and then the trolley ride was wicked awesome. I rode hanging onto the side like I was hardcore.

then we shopped our little guts out at H&M. ’nuff said.

then… we saw “WICKED!!”
this was the part of the trip I was probably most excited about.
totally loved it. I think I annoyed everyone singing “Defying Gravity” over and over afterwards.. but I couldn’t get it out of my head.
love this shot of my friends:
we got out so late, most restaurants were closed. so after much debating, we ended up ordering pizza to our hotel room. and we played dress up with as many accessories as we could get on ourselves. because we are rockstars.

stay tuned for the post about the second half of the trip including my actual birthday, Alcatraz, Fisherman’s Wharf, new friends, the Exploratorium, the Aquarium, the Bay Cruise, etc.
I know you’re on the edge of your seat!

my life is tv.

because it literally blows my mind with the new levels of ridiculous/entertaining that it reaches everyday.

take yesterday, for example:

firstly, I had to get my car’s oil changed. nothing makes me feel quite so incompetent as a car repair or maintenance shop. I always think I know stuff about my car until they ask me a question that sounds like dirty Greek words and I try to act like I understood what they said. or I don’t know the usual procedure on how to act in there. it’s rude.
and the guys in the shop always make me feel ogled. but whatev. what should have been a 10 minute procedure took 25+ minutes because the filter was stuck down inside its shaft. they all collaborated together to fix it, looking pretty befuddled as I sat in my car observing them. but they were nice. I tell you this to simply illustrate further the difficulty that is my car. I can’t do ANYthing related to that freakin máquina without it being complex and extra expensive. (i.e. even at the oil change the special filter cost me $8 extra.)

then.. due to an error message on my phone saying my storage was critically low and I couldn’t send or receive texts, I unthinkingly reset the memory. uh.. bad idea. guess who just lost every single contact number and text message and phone call log that was in there? me. bye bye life.
okay, so maybe my life is not gone. but I had to increase the suspense a little. (and p.s. it’s kind of amusing to see who actually texts you with their number when you post a status about it on facebook. a lot of the people you rarely if ever talk to will send you their numbers because it’s clearly important that you have them, rather than your most frequent texting/calling buddies. or how guys you thought you successfully blew off will come back again looking for new opportunities. I have kind of secretly enjoyed watching all of this unfold.. like the random person who texted me that they love me, they’re watching me, and they want me to have their babies today that I still haven’t identified because I have no numbers. woohoo!) <– longest parenthesis segment ever? maybe.

then.. I go to work. crying bipolars who want to take all their pills and go to sleep because their husbands left them for someone else, psychos of all calibers, the usual range of addicts and alcholics. you know.

then.. I go to my friend Shawn’s house. we get IN-N-OUT, animal style, and a Redbox. (I heart Redbox. because it’s truly one of the greatest inventions ever.) as we walk out when I am leaving to go home, guess what we find?!? 🙂 🙂

my car… with a flat. freaking. tire.

.

.

.
wanh wanh wanh. (sad trombone sound.)

oh yes, folks. Victoria has struck again. I am starting to seriously hate my car as I love her. ok so changing a flat tire.. pretty basic procedure, no? Shawn brings his manliness to the plate and steps in to handle it. unfortunately nobody warned us that either Superman or Chuck Norris had put the bolts on that wheel, and they were impossible to remove. and when I say impossible… I mean he stomps on the wrench to get the first one to even budge a tiny bit, and strips the wrench, rendering it useless. and not only that, but we notice that there is a special bolt that’s different from the rest of them gloating at us from the hubcap, daring us to figure out how to get it off with no wrench that fits.
ohhh yay. so after a mighty struggle with no success, we go to Walmart to buy another wrench. by this time it is getting close to 2am. we are pissed puppies. my phone is so dying. but I manage to get a text off to my mom about my situation, who calls me and sympathizes. then Dad calls back and explains to me that the misfit bolt is actually a lock bolt to ward off wheel/hubcab thieves.
oh.
there’s a special key for it in the glove box.
oh.
ask me if it worked.
no.
we struggled with these lug nuts until 3:30ish am, when Shawn (feeling rather emasculated) finally makes me leave Victoria and just take his car home because he didn’t need it much today anyway.  I get home around 4am. I get 2 hours of sleep before I have to turn around and go back to work. mmm. that was delish.

the saga continues..

I work. it was fine. same old.

then I go to my car to meet the tow truck that I had requested meet me around 4pm. I wait.
and I wait.
and I finish a movie on my laptop in the car.
and I wait.
over an hour and a half later  the tow truck finally shows up. he gets off two more lug nuts, but the lock bolt = impossible without some vibrating tool. (I don’t know, ok? don’t look at me all disapprovingly like you didn’t kind of laugh.) but because he didn’t show up earlier, he didn’t figure out that my car actually needed to be towed to a tire shop until 6pm, when they had all closed for the night. eff.
so he gave me the option of leaving it and him picking it up in the morning, towing it clear to Kaysville for some serious dinero, or towing it to the shop and leaving the key in the drop box.
initially I said he could just pick it up in the morning.. when the secretary at the tow shop got wind after he had left, she immediately called me saying, “no, no.. your insurance refuses to pay for 2 trips out to your car ” (despite me having zero control over this situation. messed up.) so the tow truck had to turn around and come BACK to tow my car over tonight so it can wait to be seen like a sick patient in the morning.

at this point, I almost broke down in tears in my car.. possibly partially attributed to sleep-deprivation.. but mostly to being at the end of my vehicular rope. I don’t know what else I can deal with on this front.

oh and to add insult to injury, I will apparently be kicked off my insurance in July for too many accidents. at which point the plan that they will offer me will be more than triple the monthly fee I currently pay. needless to say I will be insurance shopping.
AND
there is a crack in the top left corner of my windshield.

anyway. then John luckily was already on his way to pick me up and we went and saw the most hilarious play I have ever seen.. “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” at Hale Center Theatre in Provo. um. go see it. I was blown away. talent, humor, costumes, dancing, music.. fab-u-luss.

and know what else is fabulous? in a week… I will be in San Francisco birthdayin’ it up with my girls. YEAHYUH!

you have no idea how excited I am about this trip. even though I just typed that sentence in the least exciting way that I possibly could have. it’s inside my soul, ok? it’s there.

la ciudad del pecado

Vegas this weekend was awesome. but here’s the thing.. I only took like 12 pictures. because I’m dumb. and Cam and Bret were on it so I kind of slacked. but I started taking some on our last day when we visited M&M World and the Coke Store. plus a couple of phone pics throughout the weekend.

here’s how it went down:

obligatory road trip shot. soooooo muchhhhh drivingggggg.

stayed at some sweet Wyndham Condos just off the strip.
fellow wicked awesome travelers: Cambria, Beau, Tara, Bret, Elsie, John. I love all of these people. do I have a group shot?
you bet I don’t.
(and as you will note, Bret is not featured in photos in this post because all of our co-vanity took place on his camera.. he hasn’t shared. I am left desolate.)

activities included:
casinos

did I even gamble?
nope.

shopping – Utah needs an H&M. stat. this is an urgent matter of fashion. and let’s face it, they’d be huge here. you better believe we visited both H&M stores in Vegas. more than once.
Els and me at the Miracle Mile in Planet Hollywood.. if you look closely at the words behind us, it proves I’m right.

eating – ugh. so much eating. from Claim Jumper where I had a not-so-good jerk chicken sweet potato to  The Original Pancake House (mm coconut pancakes) to Dick’s Last Resort (FAVORITE. good food – I had the “Big Ass Burger.” funny service. hilarious band. hot men.. awesome free show. biggest regret: not getting pictures.) to the rundown casino breakfast that was next to the Super 8. I forgot what it was called. pretty standard food. also sodas from around the world at the Coke Store, followed by dessert and appetizers at the Rainforest Cafe. and IN-N-OUT in St. George on the way home at like midnight, of course. yummy burger. and add in our naughty vacation road trip treats (i.e. everyone ate my peach rings and Jr. Mints plus Cam’s like 5 pound bag of gummy bears because it’s tradition) and you have… DEATH BY GLUTTONY.

this frog will eat you now.

just chillin with my hot besties waiting for delicious pancakes and/or omelettes and/or crepes.


check out this awesome hair spotted at the run down casino on our last day. minus you can’t even tell how ridiculous it was from this photo. it was like.. a mohawk that got electrocuted in 1985 and then sprayed with an Aquanet shield that has lasted until this day.

dancing – our concierge, Freddy, “hooked us up” because apparently he’s the man to know in Vegas. but he apparently got fired from the club before for getting in trouble. good to know the Wyndham hires only top caliber cats. the first night he got us on the list to a club called Cat House at the Luxor. Saturday Els and I tried to go to Vanity at the Hard Rock Hotel cuz my mission friend Mr. Glauser happened to be there with another mission homie, Mr. Francis, but we decided we weren’t loving the $20 cover. then we accidentally enamored a couple of brothas named Rene and… Elsie I forgot the name of your guy. anyway, that was an adventure. they tried unsuccessfully to get us in to Vanity then led us to another club with Rock in the name. I can’t remember exactly what it was called. we danced ‘n stuff. they were hilarious.

shows – well, one show. The Phantom of the Opera. uh-maze-ing. probably my favorite part of the trip. it was so good it gave me the cry lump throughout the show. I’ve always wanted to see Phantom. we sat at the edge of the balcony. it was perfect. bucket list goal: completed.

swimming – in the 80 degree heated pool and hot tub.. open 24 hours, kids. I didn’t touch the pool. I went straight to the hot tub. because I like my water like I like my men… hot.

riding the coaster – a.k.a. the rollercoaster at New York New York. but my lingo is cooler because I’m so hip. that thing was way more intense than anticipated. so fun.

walking the strip – seeing various casinos and amazing sights.

Excalibur. and me with it (but mostly just me in the second one):

some fish from the Rainforest Cafe. Cam, Beau, John, and Tara went to the aquarium. I didn’t because I am a wuss. Els and Bret were too cool for fish.

special photo feature: M&M World and the Coke Store. why? because that’s when I actually started taking pictures with not a phone.








that coke bear bit my head right after the picture. luckily I survived.

but the REAL tragedy came when these beauties:

my 2 favorite colors.. a $10 bag of M&M’s.. got left behind in the Rainforest Cafe. I shed a tear for their loss. they were peanut.

I must have been having a rough day because I lost my phone that day too, in the bathroom. luckily someone was kind enough to turn it into the security desk after looking through all my text messages and pictures.. so we were reunited and my moments of anxiety were relieved. glad someone out there knows my life and still wants me to be able to function. thanks anonymous good samaritan.

we also did some visits while in the area.. I saw my darling friend Lori. for like 10 minutes. but they were a golden 10 minutes. I also got to visit my favorite senior couple from my mission, the Stephens. they live on the same street as the temple. totally gorgeous. it was so fabulous to see them. and then we visited Beau’s aunt and uncle. as a result of all our lolly-gagging, we got home at 3:30am. death.

but all in all.. a total blast.
not gonna lie, I wasn’t THAT sad to leave Vegas and its sin behind.. but I was very sad to end my vacay with my awesome friends.
I went from this:


to this:


do not be fooled. what looks like pissy air traffic control is actually pissy crisis line counseling.

okay so it’s really not that bad. but that was about how excited I felt to be back. and exhausted. because everything is open freakin 24 hours a day so sleeping doesn’t happen. sorry, body.

sooooooo looking forward to a month from now when I shall be taking in the sights of Frisco for my 25th birthday!! and I will probably leave my heart there too.

yay for vacays!

letters to everything

dear the Jazz,
I love you. that was rad.

dear Las Vegas,
I’ll see you tomorrow. save me some sunshine, some theatrics, some Kodak moments, and some neon lights. I’m coming.

dear tanning bed,
you sunburned a distinct line around my armpits, which stayed white. it looks hilarious.

dear aloe vera after sun lotion,
you’re a good friend.

dear tax return,
that was cool of you to come early. my credit card bill thanks you.

dear car repair shop guy,
you scared me for a minute with your apparently under-the-table arrangement with the dude who hit my trunk and is paying out-of-pocket. but thanks for resolving it.

dear work,
I won’t miss you all weekend. not even a little bit.

dear goosebumps,
go away.

dear packing,
you are not one of my talents. well.. packing lightly, that is. I am attempting to put an overly large portion of my closet in a weekend bag.

dear dating,
we are on an indefinite break. kthanks.

dear girls in my life,
we need to fill one spot in the small girls’ trip that has recently been vacated to go to San Fran. in April. and you should contact me if you want details.

dear my mission,
I miss you.

much love,

Aubrey

servicing salt lake county

so here’s the story:

Saturday night I go to this mission dinner mini-reunion at Chili’s, right? it’s not the usual mission crowd that I chill with, but my plans to go to Sundance for the free 30 Seconds to Mars concert were foiled by inclement weather in the canyon. ruff.
so… backup was the dinner. I braved it, despite misgivings about who might be in attendance. none of my faves were going.

well.  it maybe makes the top 15 most ridiculous nights list.

there I am sitting on the end of the table surrounded by 4 English-speaking ex-Elders. (I served my last 9 months in the “Language Zone” where I was only surrounded by Spanish and Haitian Creole-speaking missionaries. I’m not super integrated into the English crowd.) they took it upon themselves to talk about all of the most apostate stories from the mission for the entirety of the night. I was appalled and a little amused at the sheer ridiculousness. I had nothing to contribute.

then an ex-sister and ex-elder who are now dating decide to announce to everybody that they, in fact, eloped to Vegas last weekend.
um.

what?

“it’s true!” they insist. I call b.s.
I think I said about 15 times that I thought they were lying. it was just so… something they would do.
anyway they get the whole group believing them, even me reluctantly accepting the claim with a heavy dose of skepticism.

the next day she posts a status on Facebook.. “yeah Chili’s last night, that was a joke.”
called it.

lame. (no offense if either of you happen to read this. ahem.)

and then to top off the night..

as we get our checks (for my sick nasty cheesy potato soup. nobody told me that ish was loaded to the max with queso. and as a reminder.. I loathe cheese. with all my heart.)
our waiter goes around asking about splitting them up. he gets to me and says, “are you solo?”
me: “yep.”
him: “what’s a pretty girl like you doin’ solo??”
me: (assuming it was typical waiter-trying-to-jack-up-the-tip banter) “I guess I’m just an independent woman.”
him: “I’ll have to give you my card.”
me: “ha. yeah.”

homeboy comes back with the check. behind my credit card lies a card. a business card. he wasn’t joking.
and this was not just any business card… this was a MOBILE MASSAGE business card!! his catch phrase is: “Servicing Utah and Salt Lake Counties in the convenience of your home or business” and “Specializing in outcall services.”

mmbaby.
let’s clarify one important detail: he’s like 40.

if that is indeed his age, he is 7 years younger than my father.
sick.

needless to say, I got made fun of.

and while we’re on this topic,

shall we tell another?
yes. this is a story about Halloween night that has never been shared, and that’s kind of a travesty. we’ll see how good my memory is.

so Cam and Tara and I hit up a Halloween house party. it was pretty bumpin’ and packed, but being that it was a Mormon one, it didn’t go super late.  afterwards we decide to take advantage of half price sushi after 10:30pm at Shogun in SLC for our own personal after-party. (ohhh mylanta. go there. please do it. it’s so delicious and the ambiance is the coolest.)

we get seated under our table (and when I say under, I mean your feet go down into the floor because the tables are basically on the ground like the Japanese do.) keep in mind we are dressed as bugs. I was a ladybug, Cam was a bee, Tara was a firefly. we were too cute.

(photo borrowed from Cam)

I look up and accidentally make eye contact with a dude sitting with his buddy at the table across from us. he almost immediately yells, “hey, do you want us to come sit with you?!?”
we laugh. they do. well, actually they come to the table next to us.
the fellow so immediately smitten was named Ben. Ben and pal (I’m blanking on his name. he’s “pal” now.) are on the verge of wasted. but they’re at the level of drunkenness where they can still carry a conversation and be absolutely hilarious without the obnoxious parts of drunk people.

Ben instantly begins to shower me with compliments.

here are some of the main points I can remember.. which is only a fraction of what he actually said throughout the evening:

“I am so attracted to you.”
“I just feel like we have this connection. you can just FEEL this energy flowing between us!”
“if I was single, this is what I’d do. I’d ask you out on a date. I’d take you out to dinner and then we’d do something active like.. play basketball.”
to Cam and Tara, “your friend is so beautiful (and/or gorgeous)!” repeated like 10 times.
after hugging me repeatedly and sighing in bliss, he said to Cam, “I can only give you a half hug cuz I gave her a whole one. you’re very pretty too, but I saw her first.”
“I think you’re so attractive.”
“you’re so pretty.”
(pal was dressed up as an old lady in a nightgown, wig, and sunglasses, Ben was dressed as a middle-aged east-coast snob with super short shorts and a yacht. pal played Ben’s New Yorker mother.)
pal responds, “you never tell your mother she’s pretty.”
“yeah, your mom is pretty.”

other highlights include:

him spilling rice all over himself and under the whole table.
him deciding he needed to lay out on the floor and stretch. yeah, you read that right. he lifted his leg into the air in his teensy shorts and made Tara hold his toe to stretch his hamstrings. thought I was going to hyperventilate with laughter.


him pouring water perfectly for me, not spilling a drop, and very strategic positioning right in my face as he did so.. then proceeding to spill everywhere at his own table.

that was probably my favorite night ever. maybe. at least one of the top in entertainment.

and tonight… I went out with co-workers to celebrate a birthday. we attempted dancing at Studio 600. that was a smashing failure. Tuesday nights are not the bomb, unless we maybe just left too early.
so they decide to hit up Lumpy’s. I was the only non-drinker of the group. that was pretty entertaining for me. they call me the purity of the office, and are pretty sure hell would freeze over before I’d ever go against the commandments. I have the Mormon talent of being fun without alcohol. 🙂 it was especially amusing since it was karaoke night. and I proceeded to watch my supervisor get absolutely toasted on AMF’s and Vodka Red Bull.. to the point of throwing up in the bathroom and a glass at the table and have to be walked out to her boyfriend’s car. yep. can’t wait to see her hangover tomorrow.

but I busted out some Aaliyah “I Really Need Somebody” like a champ at karaoke. and the poly’s sang pretty much the rest of the night. but the faux-hawked white guy running the karaoke was making googly eyes at me all night. he winked/smiled/waved at me as I walked out. he was cute, but I feel like I maybe narrowly escaped another escapade like the ones I have been sharing cuz my supervisor drank wayyy too much. so.. thanks for that I guess?

well. now that you’ve been entertained.. you’re welcome. and sorry for those of you who are offended by stories about drunk people. unfortunately (or fortunately) they are most of the people I interact with on the daily due to my line of work.. and the stories are too good not to share. woop woop!