GANGNAM STYLE

I KNOW I’M LATE GETTING ON THE BANDWAGON, BUT TELL ME YOU GUYS HAVE SEEN THIS. AND PLEASE REWIND AND RE-WATCH 1:14-1:18 OVER AND OVER. I AM DEAD.

KOREANS SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE MUSIC VIDEOS.

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30 things. actually, 10. part 1.

30 Things:

So.. I think I must be bored lately. (Not having a steady job and being a newlywed with your husband on the other side of the world and no money to go out nor friends who are very available to see you will do that to a person.) Not only have I finally decided to take on a “Photo-a-Day” project for July on Instagram.. (username: aubreyhavea) but I also found this on a random blog. The instructions here, are that I’m supposed to post something about myself each day, according to the following list of questions.  The idea is to record different parts of my personality for my posterity, and I guess you get to know me better by default. This could potentially be very hilarious, emotional, and/or TMI. Sorry in advance, kiddos! And it’s also suggested that this list would make a fun date night?

BUUUUUT we all know how awesome I am at daily posts on my blog. ha.

laughable.

so I’ma do this in one big she-bam. because I’m in the mood. answers will be kept brief. and future great-grandchildren… y’welcome.

k. here we go.

THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

  • I hate every kind of cheese. literally. yes.. even the cheese you were just about to ask me if I hate.
  • my first time out of the country ever was going to New Zealand. by myself.
  • I once put $500 worth of damage in a car with my hip, attempting to close the door.
  • I sang my first solo in sacrament meeting when I was 3 years old.
  • I said my first word when I was 5 months old.
  • cold cereal is my favorite snack. and daily breakfast. I feel wrong without it.
  • I can’t waterski to save my life.
  • I got my first kiss in high school over Spring Break in St. George. it was super lame.
  • I once ripped a huge hole in the butt of my jeans while climbing over a fence at a concert.. and I just wore them like that all day. I still have those pants.
  • I hate feet. that includes foot massages. no thank you.
  • I always have lip gloss. Victoria Secret Beauty Rush. always. I even sleep in it.
  • I still play the piano and sing, but growing up I also took lessons for the ukelele and the viola for brief periods of time
  • I once kayaked surrounded a pod of dolphins after snorkeling in a bay in Hawaii.
  • I own over 70 pairs of shoes.
  • the summer after high school, I was a cook at Domino’s Pizza.. and I could even toss the dough up in the air and spread it with my fists, like a pro.
  • I can wiggle my ears and do tricks with my lips, but I can’t, for the life of me, flare my nostrils.
  • my right foot is about a half size smaller than my left foot.
  • I am a closet Disney buff. and I have never been stumped in Disney trivia.
  • I’m fascinated by morbid TV shows like Criminal Minds.
  • I’m only 27.. but I’ve already had 14 jobs since I was 14.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

  • SHARKS. I could not be more terrified of them. I don’t know how it developed. I remember having nightmares about them as a child.. but now, as an adult, I have a full-on phobia. I have a panic attack and cry at the shark encounter at Sea World. I have nightmares from just the previews of shark horror movies. I even cried watching a TV show about them with husband in Tonga because I went into a panic attack. I don’t think he fully grasped my true terror before.. but he believes me now, when I say I’m terrified.
  • divorce and/or ending up alone. I think this is common. and this is depressing.. but.. does it really need further explanation? I am so lucky to have parents who are still so in love.. so I’m grateful for the hope that it can actually last.. despite what I see happening so often these days. (p.s. not concerned about my marriage. we’re fine. it’s just always a scary thought.)
  • losing everything.
sheesh. this question is a downer. NEXT.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

it’s wonderful. I couldn’t ask for better parents. they would do anything for me, and I am so undeserving. I’m a lot like my dad and we like to crack jokes back and forth and tease each other.. and my mom and I tend to have deeper conversations. they are just seriously the best. I’m so blessed.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

woof. where do I start?

  • you will barely even hang out or have contact with your friends from high school when this is over. stop worrying so much about their approval.
  • LOVE yourself. you are okay.. really. comparing yourself to those girls will only make you insecure and hate everything that makes you you.
  • you aren’t going to marry your “high school sweetheart.” you won’t even have a high school sweetheart. none of these boys will even be in your life in 5 years. they aren’t worth your wishes and energy and tears and boy crazy thoughts.
  • this rad little Subaru… will hold lots of memories. and it will teach you about how to deal with old breaking down cars. love her.
  • these are the dates and times of your forthcoming speeding tickets and accidents, and here’s how to avoid them. (this will save you a buttload of cash.)
  • you won’t get asked to prom. please prepare yourself starting now so it doesn’t break your heart later.
  • start working harder now to take care of yourself and be healthy and fit; it will make you feel better about yourself now, and it will make life a whole lot easier for you later.
  • you will bloom after high school. college will be about a million times better for you. you’re one of those people who gets better with age.
  • at your high school, almost all the kids are excellent, driven, and talented. this is a vanilla group where you won’t get a chance to stand out much. this doesn’t fit you very well.. just remember, it doesn’t make you less talented if you don’t make it into a group or organization. don’t lose faith in your talents. you are still special. you are still good. (and don’t bother so much with choir. maybe go for moonlight singers instead.)
  • focus your career preparation, starting now, on art, photography, and design. you already know how much you love those things. you’re good at them. don’t get side-tracked thinking you won’t be able to have a career in them. (you’ll like your Psychology studies, but trust me.. you’ll end up not wanting to work in that field when push comes to shove.) follow your passions.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

  • my husband
  • my camera
  • music
  • the gospel
  • my family

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

actually… honestly… I think right now may be (at least one of) the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I must say.. I never thought I’d be 27 and married, but with my husband across the world — not knowing when I’ll see him again, living in my parents basement, with a job that’s falling through — searching hopelessly for solid employment, unable to afford anything — even my bills for the month, and awkwardly stuck in limbo between a single and married social life, with no friends around to hang out with.. feeling pretty alone, with no control over or knowledge of what’s going to happen in the future.

I have to say.. whatever lesson I’m supposed to be learning now.. is a very hard one.

but let’s not turn this into a pity party. woop woop!

7. What is your dream job, and why?

honestly… growing up my whole life, I always wanted to be a superstar singer. that would be my dream come true.

but my other passion is what I’m more actively pursuing… and that is art, photography, and graphic design. if I can get a stable career in that field, I will be one happy camper.

8. What are 5 passions you have?

  • anything artistic/creative – especially: photography, drawing, design, poetry
  • music – the window to my soul
  • the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or rather, the doctrines of the gospel that it teaches me, especially about my relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ
  • dancing – I do it on a daily basis. I can’t help but move when I hear that beat.
  • people – they fascinate me. I love to be around them, to watch them, to draw them, to photograph them, to study their behavior, to be influenced by them, to learn about them.. etc.

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

in no particular order…

  • I’ll start with the obvious: my parents. they have shaped me into the person I am. they have been the most stable, driving influence I’ve had in my life. I will be eternally grateful.
  • my grandparents (I realize I’m grouping here. but they can be counted as one.) both sets, on mom’s and dad’s sides are the most extraordinary people that I’ve met.. and they would certainly claim otherwise. but they humbly and quietly and steadfastly go about doing good. they are loving and kind and always looking to serve. they have raised righteous families and created a legacy of humble, hard-working excellence.. and I couldn’t be more lucky to have them.
  • my aunt Tiffany. she is only 9 years older than me, and she was my hero growing up. I worshipped the ground she walked on and hung on her every word. she is like the big sister I never had. I always wanted to be beautiful and awesome like her.
  • my siblings. as a group. each for different reasons. I am extremely close with them.. they are my friends, not just my brothers and sisters (including my new sister-in-law, Kristi). even though they are younger than I am, they consistently teach me with their examples. they are all better than I am.. I have been raised in a family of spiritual giants. I don’t know how I got here. but I am privileged. and especially now, I am more grateful than ever for them. they are my closest friends.
  • my cousin Amberlee. through all of the friends I’ve had in my life, she has been the stable friendship that I grew up with since before either of us can remember. we’ve had more sleepovers at each other’s houses than either of us can count.. she put up with all my crazy over-imaginative antics, and even though we are opposites in personality.. I will always adore her.
  • my best friend Cambria. we grew up around the corner from each other, but she is 2 years older than me, so we never knew we were destined to be best friends until I moved back home from Utah State and we discovered that we were so similar it blew our minds. she helped me learn how to just.. be happy.. even in the face of trouble. she was the one who never turned down a crazy adventure with me. and I can’t even begin to count all of the greatest memories we’ve made together. so epic.
  • my high school best friend, Kathryn. so many good times.. she helped me learn how to take care of myself, how to do my hair and makeup, how to feel pretty.. she opened me up to new experiences in life that taught me and shaped me as a person. she even fostered my love for rap and hip hop. and she made me feel loved and included.. which was exactly what I needed as an insecure teenager.
  • you knew this was coming.. but, of course, my husband, Mote. he is the love of my life.. I had to go all the way to Tonga to find him. (I always loved poly men, but I never thought I’d have to look quite that far.) I can’t believe I found someone so much like me in so many ways.. someone who can be my best friend and my husband at the same time. he makes me feel loved and special and good about myself.. he’s funny and handsome and talented and smart and chill.. he brings out my desire to be better.. and I get to be with him for eternity. suckas!!
  • my favorite mission companion, Audrey (Nonoa). my sista from anotha mista. from day one in the MTC it was a special bond. we went through the ups and downs of our entire missions together, we spent a transfer over Christmas together, and then we finished it off together, the way we started. she is the perfect example of Christlike love and selfless service. I have never met someone more capable of such great love for so many people. she is one of my all-time favorite people ever.
  • I’m gonna do one more group.. this one is my aunts and uncles in general. I have grown up with an extremely close relationship with my extended family. we gathered for weekly Sunday dinners, and I cherish all the time spent with my aunts and uncles, on both sides, during my life. I am the favorite brunt of all their jokes and target of all their teasing.. but I dish it right back to them. (in particular, Danny on Mom’s side and John on Dad’s side.) but I think it is largely attributed to them that I’ve always had such great relationships with adults as I’ve grown up. I will always be so grateful for them.
  • honorable mentions: Andrew McMahon, Zooey Deschanel, Coach Downs, Marjorie Pay Hinckley, Pres and Sis Colton – who should actually be on the list and not just honorable mention, Chris Farley, Ryan Reynolds, Bishop Solt, countless friends, Batman.

10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.

pff. it’s hard for me to pick a “most” embarrassing moment. but one that still brings me to the point of blushing and shutting my eyes when I think about it was thanks for my dear, sweet friend, Cambria. we were at a young single adult regional conference. we went to the treats room to get food and mingle afterwards. I saw a boy I’d had a crush on in high school across the room. I had taken him to the Christmas dance and he was the first boy I’d ever held hands with. I whispered that and pointed him out to Cam as we roamed the room. I avoided him. but a little while later, we made contact and began talking. suddenly, Cam walks up to us and blurts out, “hi first boy that Aubrey ever held hands with!” my jaw dropped and I could have died. right there.. as if I had raved about this experience and never gotten over it since high school and she had been dying to meet him all this time. when in actuality, I had never even mentioned him to her before today. he chuckled and said, “I hope I wasn’t the last..” at this point I was simply gasp-laughing.. mouth still open.. unable to respond out of embarrassment, but she continues with, “oh no. she’s held hands with LOTS of boys since then. not that… she’s a floozy or anything…”
and that’s when I had to cut it off. I had never felt so humiliated. like I’d been ruminating on this high school crush all these years and still held on to a few seconds of hand-holding like it was the greatest moment of my life. I pretty much felt like driving straight to a cave and moving in.
such a special day!

okay. so I lied. this thing is WAY too much to tackle in one post. just those 10 questions were exhausting. I think I’ll break this up into 3. so here’s 10. now it’s bedtime.

nighty night boys and girls.

here’s a sneak preview of the questions still to come.

to be continued… 

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

28. What is your love language?

29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I forgot to point out the obvious.

I just realized I forgot to point out the fact that my blog got a makeover! it’s been.. what.. more than a year since I did anything with the design? two years, maybe? so I decided it was time for a change. and I’m feelin it so far. I hope you are too.

ALSO. now that it’s no longer February, I just noticed that missed my blog’s birthday!

worst. blogger. ever.

but happy 3rd birthday to my blog! I made it to 3 years of intermittent and inconsistent posting what has essentially turned into a public online diary! heyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! (<– to be read in your best ghetto voice. out loud.)

and as happy as my nuptial news is.. I also realized another fact.. I can’t really call my blog “The Wilki Way” anymore if I’m gonna be a Havea.

anyone have any clever ideas for when that day comes?

…Bueller?

I mean…not Bueller. ..Havea?

back to life.. back to reality..

hello dear friends.

not that I wanna give excuses for so severely pushing the blog to the back burner… but…

holy cow. life be CRAZY up in this piece, homies.

in case anybody missed the memo…. since I… actually haven’t posted it on the blog, so unless you know me in real life, you would have missed it…. I’m HOME! I said goodbye to Texas a week ago and Utah has opened its non-humid arms to welcome me in, and then swallowed me whole.

and I mean that in the most literal sense, because I haven’t even had time to unpack until today. I only finished doing that like.. 1.5 hours ago. can I get a HALLELUJAH for no more suitcase living?!

…………………………*crickets*………………………………………………………………………………

FINE you guyz.. I’ll do it myself. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!

geez.

haters.
so to summarize things,

I packed up, cleaned, got my Volvo fixed only just in time (after nearly the whole FREAKING summer. F that noise.), said goodbye to my Del Sol friends 😦

and to this:


and drove. (Texas, outside of the cities, was ug. especially West Texas. no pics were taken.)

after most of the day, we made it across Texas to El Paso, almost got STUCK in El Paso because Lisa’s car was upset about driving too fast, so after much anxiety-ridden deliberation and inspection at Firestone, we drove slower and made it to Albuquerque, stayed the night in the most comfortable hotel beds ever, and drove.

and drove.

made pit stops, complete with bathroom stall reading:

what’s better than a rose on your piano?
tulips on my organ.

………….

ahem.

and drove.

and then New Mexico started getting real pretty. and I started loving the scenery.

but then I remembered that I had been driving for TWO DAYS straight and that my book on CD (“The Color Purple” -weird/sad/raw/interesting/gross/good) was long over and that I wanted to kill myself.


and I drove.

until finally…

so what did I do?

I drove some more.

I mean seriously guyz, I swear was suffering like a freaking pioneer by myself in that air-conditioned luxury sedan with all of my many possessions jammed in all around me eating treats and drinking Coke Zero. skraight up torture.

anyway, you get my point. I finally made it. went straight to Gram’s for a little family partying, and then home at last. but I started work the next day and school on Wednesday, so pretty much I don’t know what I was thinking doing that to myself, because by the time Friday rolled around I was so dead that I probably looked like a zombie.

but don’t get me wrong… the busyness is not all just from suck. it’s from fun stuff too. like hangin with fam, seeing friends, going to a concert, watching Jersey Shore (ha), going to Ute Fan Fest 2011 and meeting the football players.. my life is not bad, guyz.

now somebody help me not feel overwhelmed when I think about school and work equaling 12 hours gone M-F.

but probably the most exciting part of my life?

40. days.

that’s how many until I go to freaking NEW ZEALAND, to see my love.

yep.

and I have never been more excited/anxious for anything in my life.

🙂

okay so…. now it’s somehow 1:15am? what? I’m going to freaking sleep.

goodnight boys and girls.

I love you.

xoxo

Bats. Real ones.

I tried to upload a video from my phone of the time, two days ago, when I watched 1.5 million bats fly out from under the Congress Street Bridge in Austin. but apparently the video is the wrong format. and I don’t want to upgrade to costly wordpress instead of free wordpress. (–>cheap<–)

I also considered just leaving this blog post blank..
because the title is kind of enough.

but I’ve been seeing and reading and laughing and thinking.. so here are some thinks.

I h.a.t.e. it when M’s internet is down. it’s been 3.5 days now. it makes me feel like I’m walking through a pool about waist-deep because everything feels harder and like it’s in slow-motion. Missing someone makes you realize that he is essential to your well-being. my phone battery is going dead everyday from my constant and hopeful checking of messages.

Austin is lovely. I was up to my earlobes in unique and pretty treasures that I wanted and needed just by perusing two amazing Congress Street shops. and I found my best friend’s wedding gift.

today I took a tour of the river in San Antonio via riverboat. the entire time a 4 year-old boy named Danny had a kicking war with me and then moved on to a finger war and then a hand-stacking war. it was one of the greatest times I’ve had all month. he had a faux hawk all the way down the back. I told him he is mi nuevo novio. his mother scolded him in Spanish the entire ride. his parents wanted me to keep him.

^those photos counted as thoughts ^ 

I went to the most expensive restaurant I’ve been to since we came to Texas tonight, and it was ironically the worst experience I’ve had in a restaurant since we’ve been here. but thank you for my $13 appetizer that was a bed of spinach leaves and 4 thumb-sized slices of pan-seared tuna. and your guac was good. won’t be back.

there is now a Justin Bieber poster hanging in my room at the foot of Lisa’s bed. I never thought that would happen to me in my life. but Ryan Reynolds is also there to diffuse the situation.

today I read a poem that goes like this:

On Art

I don’t think art

is so much a tribute to beauty

as it is a good reminder

that we don’t have to be so boring

-Dallin Bruun

I never want to be boring.

Cars 2. yes. made me miss my friends.

I also miss my dog, Shandi, because she is cute and the sweetest dog in the world. she turns 8 on Monday. my sister suggested we baptize her.

today I emailed Dan Dan the Volvo man about where my oil pan is when it ought to be in my vehicle. he sent me bad news but then quickly followed up with good news and I hope it arrives by Monday. my Volvo (M named it the Go-Getta) has been sitting at the curb in front of the apartment for weeks looking wistful and lonely. and walking to work on humid mornings makes me feel like a sweaty monkey.

I recently had my first paid design job for a little icon within an iPhone app called Calvetica. my icon is an absolutely minimal contribution, but it made me feel official. I am a graphic designer after 1 semester of school.

and I never shared my great news.. I got a departmental tuition waiver from my school for the whole upcoming school year! a.k.a. they are paying for me to go to school. it took much effort and turning in an essay on the day of my kidney stone surgery as I almost threw up in the line and then a portfolio review with several professors at a very long table and it made me feel naked as they passed around my artwork and asked me questions…. so that phone call telling me I got the waiver was magical. the timing of this waiver is also magical, given upcoming immigration expenses for M in my life.

I hated the movie “Waiting for Forever.”

did I mention I miss M? 😦

okay… no more thinks right now.

goodnight, moon.

“I’m a legend, they call me the cautionary whale.”

so it’s been a minute. again. I have just accepted the fact that it will be internet years between blog posts and moved on. I’m sure you’ve done the same.

today’s post was actually spurred by me looking through my phone and realizing I have about 30 photos of Texas life that I would like to post instead of writing a novel. mmmkay?

aight cool. blink a few times and get your eyes warmed up for this. here we go.

first: the capital of Texas and my favorite city thus far, Austin.

the old school drinking fountain on the grounds. and Lisa using it.
 the reason we came to Austin, to chill with Christina at a ginormous house with incredible grounds and eat J Dawgs and fail to bring swimsuits. and it so happened that Christina and I dressed alike. cut-offs and neon yellow are hot right now. plus she and I apparently live parallel lives. we’ll even both be in New Zealand in October, only missing each other by 2 days. you can’t make this stuff up. love this girl.
also in Austin we went to a cupcake van called “Hey Cupcake!” and loved it,
got shaved ice, shopped at an outdoor market randomly chillin on the street, saw the “Hi how are you?” frog from the movie “Whip It.” oh and I saw two guys from my mission who, independently of each other, came to this giant YSA activity that we were attending. and then we saw the most recent X-Men movie, which was wicked awesome, as expected.
my view from the backseat as we road-tripped:
and Lisa and yours truly at the gorgeous huge house. you can’t tell here, but our feet are in the pool.
ok. moving on from Austin. (I lingered there because it was my fave.)

we have.. Corpus Christi. actually technically not Corpus. more like Padre Island.. where we like to go chill at Whitecap Beach. and this is how happy it makes us:
and it also makes us relaxed:
 and we love our lives at the beach. especially when we eat at Padre Island Burger Company… where I had the best burger I’ve ever had in my life.. called “The Hangover.” go eat it.

and speaking of eating.. San Antonio has the most delicious food. apparently it’s the fattest city in the U.S. awesome. so we’re gonna talk about that for a second.
Exhibit A: Chuy’s (where Natalie INSISTED I go to try a Chuychanga with Boom Boom Sauce because she’s obsessed. turns out I hate Boom Boom Sauce cuz it’s almost straight cheese. however.. I  am absolutely in a relationship with their jalapeno ranch. ummmm wow. and know what else I am in love with? their tres leches. get in my belly.)
 Exhibit B: Panera Bread. which, I have to say, is my all-time fave restaurant, dating back to my Florida days. I always made my poor companions go there as much as possible on the mish. and when I say poor, I mean lucky. when will you come to Utah, Panera Bread? when? (anybody who says Paradise Bakery is the same is a BIG FAT LIAR.)
 Exhibit C: Mi Tierra (or, as I like to call it, the assault on the eyes.)
you see what I mean. it is apparently a very famous Mexican Restaurant, attracting even the likes of Bill Clinton when he shows his face in San Anton. I had mole poblano. (if I’m being honest, Red Iguana in SLC is better for mole poblano.)
however, the ribs my manager, Anne, got were heavenly. we even got a personal serenade from a mariachi duo on guitars. and we ate some treats from their panaderia (bakery for those less educated in espanish).
Exhibit D: Dick’s Last Resort (not exclusive to San Antonio, but still always good time.) I refuse to actually type out what it says on my hat in this photo, nor go into further detail about how I was pwned all night, because you can always trust Dick’s to be inappropriate. but let’s just say Lisa and I laughed our guts out.)
man. that photo was huge. I hope your computer didn’t get overwhelmed.
Exhibit E: Whataburger. but I have no photo. but oh man… that ish is DELISH. way better than In-n-Out. yeah I said it.

ok. let’s see. what else… oh,

the pool. I know I already discussed it, but here’s Lisa modeling our 6″ section of water that has become our favorite layout spot.. and lookin hot.

and maybe one of my favorite things so far about San Antonio is a little something called First Friday, which is where a couple of blocks get turned into an artsy street market and vendors set up booths for jewelry and art and henna and feather extensions and trinkets and art galleries open and food establishments fill up, and basically… it’s totally my scene. so here’s a little collage of this past weekend for you:
annnnnd the hyper photo sesh that happened when we got home. and we looked like hippies.
…..it’s probably only funny to me, but whatev.
and my bomb wicked sweet awesome earrings I got from my first First Friday (say that 5 times fast.) I’m in lurrrrve with them.

next up we have adventures at Del Sol. (some of us may or may not call it Del Hole from time to time. but that is uncomfirmed.)
these are a few of the UV lamps we stare into and use all the day long to show off our color-changing products that are probably burning our retinas or something. AND spreading joy and happiness and smiles.
and this is Lisa and Melissa.. like…. STOKED to be at work.

and then after we do that, we like to go down the street to hang with our homeboys at the Guinness World Records Museum and the Haunted Adventure and Tomb Rider 3D. actually… that only happened one time.
Tallest man in the world:
 Fattest man in the world:
and me being officially deemed as: SEXY. beetches.
…another HUGE photo. I know.

and. speaking of work. across the street from work is the Alamo. yes. so… there’s a plaza in front of it, right? and things happen there. like err-day. weird. things. and I’m not just saying that. they are legit weird.
FOR EXAMPLE:
one time… there was a random group of people. some were dressed as slaves with chains around their necks and/or inmates in orange jumpsuits. they were carrying a giant statue of a woman (maybe Mary?) with the Alamo coming out of her feet, like you would carry a coffin. except… she was upside down. and they hung an Alamo pinata in front of the Alamo.
 and then… a parade of dropped vehicles rolled by… on hydraulics. what?
but that is not all, my friends. oh no. as I left work I walked by the gazebo only to see these slaves and/or inmates standing on either side of this woman with Alamo feet SPINNING her head over heels… over and over again. observe:
 BUT… as if that wasn’t weird enough. there was a man standing up on the stone wall THROWING ROSE PETALS at the statue as they spun it.
AND!
there was a woman chanting/yodeling at the top of her lungs while a band accompanied her as the soundtrack for the occasion.
………………………………..
don’t pretend like you can top that for weirdness.
you can’t.
stuff like that happens everyday, kids.

anyway. wanna know what else was super duper fun? and that is serious. it was really super duper fun. Six Flags. we walked on EVERY ride and we loved our lives. perfect day.
except sometimes their coasters are only for skinny people, apparently. and they weed out the fatties with their skinny ace ramps that last for like 3 stories of a building.

wanna see some other beautiful San Antonio things?
of course you do.

The San Antonio LDS Temple:
sky.
yeah. I live across the street from the Tower of the Americas. and the Alamodome. what?
River Walk
sweet building

and finally… since my car is still rocking a cracked oil pan…..

my new ride:

peace, love, and green lamborghini grease to all of you, my friends.

oh. wait, wait, wait.

I have to not stop yet. because, despite how it may look in all of these awesome photos you just went through,

Texas sucks.

why?

because this was the LAMEST 4th of July of my life. not only did I work all day, but Texas is in the drought of the century and they decided to BAN ANY AND ALL FIREWORKS.
first time ever in my life that I’ve spent the 4th of July sitting in my apartment, watching a weird movie.

and I hated it.
but I still love America.
…..kthanks.

it’s pocket grenade time, you hussy.. TAKE IT!

there are a few things you should know.

did you feel that boob stab?

the salute on the boat going by in the background.. KILLS ME. don’t worry that me, Cam, and Chewy all drank some Sun Drop. it’s not amazing, but the commercial makes everything a-ok.

this next one will only make sense if you’ve seen THIS. (dubbed the worst song ever written… gone viral on youtube. warning: you may willfully  burst your own eardrums.) but Glozell.. my favorite youtuber.. illustrates why it’s awesome.

fried eggs.. fried eggs..
did you pee from laughter yet?

if not.. you are a robot. like the girl on small wonder. but maybe this will help:

and if that’s not enough, see this and this.

and the other thing you should know, that isn’t the least bit funny.. but important nonetheless:

or mostly.. rugby players.

and that concludes your weekend education.
you’re welcome.