I’m havin a thought, here, Barbosa.

as I was browsing through a few articles on the internet and considering people in my head, as I often do, I had a thought process I would like to discuss.

firstly, the main idea is this:

When did snobbish “apathy” become the definition of “good taste?” Being above something popular just because it’s popular does not equal superiority.

I went through a phase in my life where I was all about the indie/scene image. This was mostly fed through my MySpace years. (Remember that time MySpace used to be cool and relevant? Yeah.. don’t look around like you don’t know what I’m talking about.) I feel like the popularity of the “emo” image, which has then fed into “indie” has turned young people everywhere into elitist monsters. Basically, the general attitude of,

“I like this obscure, little-known and/or retro music/clothing/shoes/person/food/animal/language/poetry/book/country/etc. because it IS obscure; and because the general population doesn’t appreciate/know about it, I am therefore superior,”

has overrun indie culture. This is all well and good if you’re genuinely interested in unique things and you really do like [insert obscure concept here]. I am all for pursuing your individuality through sincere interests and education and culture.

What bothers me, is the idea translating into the non-conformist holier-than-though attitude toward all things mainstream. Something being popular does not automatically make it beneath your notice. I have been guilty of this very attitude in the past, in particular toward music.

I think that what has happened because of the indie craze is that people have become SO caught up in individuality and originality that they lose themselves altogether in an image that doesn’t represent who they really are. They start thinking and speaking in ambiguous poetic terms to increase the appearance of depth… They spend hours on their outfit/hair to get the “I don’t care how I look and I want you to know that my retro Christmas sweater and greasy mustache make me awesome and above societal restrictions,” look down pat.

I like many an obscure band. I do. There is a lot of great undiscovered music out there to be enjoyed. But I also do not feel at all embarrassed to tell you that I could sing and dance to Nicki Minaj all day long. I don’t care what you think. I love her. Also, I sometimes wear clothing that matches and isn’t 35 years old. Sometimes I don’t.

But anyway, the reason I brought all this up… is not even directly related to indie-ism at all. I am annoyed because I was reading an article buzzing with commenters who are “too good” for Facebook. Let’s get real for a minute. If you are part of generation Y and you don’t live in the jungle of Africa, you have heard of Facebook. You may dislike it, but not having one does not make you superior to the rest of us ignorant conformists who have it. Your blatantly displayed “apathy” is getting on my nerves. You don’t like it? Don’t use it and shut up about it. The rest of us do.

Enough rambling. The takeaway message:

Be who you really are, like what you really like, and allow everyone else the same courtesy.

Rant end.

my first kiss went a little like this..

ok, ok. JK!
I’m not gonna talk about my first kiss. it was L to the AME and you would be bored. maybe.

but I AM gonna talk about how this weekend was a weekend of firsts. that Ke$ha/3OH!3 song was the first thing that came to my mind. (ha. there were a lot of amusing things about that sentence.)

anyway. Friday was not my favorite of days. I had gotten word on Thursday night that I had been chosen for an open position I’d applied for in the college where I would to be able to transfer to work with externs in the career services department. I was stoked because the career services peeps are my favorite, and also because my night work schedule is KILLING me. I feel totally isolated.. I never see my roommates, my family, any friends, miss all the ward activities, etc. it’s thrown me into a depression. so I was excited to have the position landed… only to have it ripped out of my hands on Friday morning. the president of the college said we may be going on a hiring freeze within the next month, and it will take a month to replace me. they can’t afford to lose the open externship position if they don’t get things worked out in time, so I am pretty much stuck. after mourning with the career services peeps, I went to talk to the president and… had an embarrassing breakdown in her office. she said she’d take the weekend to think about it and we’d talk Monday.
the point of this.. is Friday was not a good day for me. I was down. I felt punched in the gut/black-balled. life was unfair. I needed a distraction. I had no plans. since my roommates were both busy with their men, as usual, and I didn’t want to call the whole world only to be rejected by everybody and their plans, I decided to fulfill a lifelong bucket list goal and go to a movie all by myself for the first time ever.
(we’ll pretend the part where I cried on the phone to the point where I couldn’t talk in the gateway parking lot in my car when my dear friend, Abe, just “had a feeling” he should call me didn’t happen. but he was lovely about it.)
the consensus: I like alone movies. I saw “Morning Glory” and it was all about the heroin’s struggles through her career to fulfill her dreams, with some life mixed in. it was kind of exactly what I needed.
the cherry on the top was the group of Middle-Eastern guys that came in to the theater chanting a song-ish thing at FULL VOICE as I sat in my seat by myself with no other soul in sight before the movie started. I didn’t know what to do so I buried my face in my popcorn and Diet Coke and was glad that I spent that $9 (outrageous) for a minute till they sat in the back. it was awesome. and then.. don’t worry that they chanted their way OUT of the theater too. luckily.. other people came to the movie too, so I wasn’t all by my lonesome in the awkwardness.

Saturday rolled around with the promise of another first. I had been talked into accompanying my good friend, Fudge, from the mission, and his girlfriend to the SLC temple and then going to lunch afterward. my life as a third wheel is nothing new, but I didn’t want to feel too intruder-ish, so I opted to do an endowment session while they did baptisms. sadly, despite growing up in Utah, every time I have tried to go to the SLC temple.. my plan has been foiled. I had never been before Saturday. it was pretty amazing. there is no place in the world like the temple.. and I happened to be in a session full of multiple people receiving their endowment for the first time. I liked the people-watching as they and their families shared the happiness of the day.
then I waited an hour in the lobby while my friends finished, because apparently they were pretty late and then got stuck in the font for quite some time. so that was.. cool. and we went to Jason’s Deli. mm.

so.. I know those were only two firsts… but they have both been on my list for quite some time, and they just presented themselves as opportunities all in one weekend. there were, of course, other activities.. but they were not firsts. unless you count that it was the first time I had been to a house where I went to a party..

a stretch.

so anyway.. this is awkward.

good weekend.

cool story, Hansel. tell another.

thank you times 10,000?!

I’m aware that I’m pretty much a junior varsity blogger as far as popularity and/or hits are concerned. I get that a lot of you out there are like.. super popular.. (say that with a lisp and it’s 10 times better) and get hundreds of hits per day… but here in Little League, I feel like I should celebrate a little somethin somethin.

and that is…..

I just passed 10,000 hits today! whoa bess. 
(a double 5000 all the way across the blog? oh my gosh, what does this mean?!?! )

anyway.. more than anything I just thought I should say

Danka!

Merci!

Gracias!

Arigato!

Dankschen!

Dhanyabad! (Apparently that’s “thank you” in a language called Bengali in India. language lesson of the day. )    

I love you guys.
pretend we just cyber hugged.

where’s the DeLorean?

it’s been a strange week.

just to keep things spicy… in the past few days, I have been contacted by 4 specific and significant guys in my life.. and I know you wanna hear about them. here we go.

the first is funny. it is one of my best friends. he is married, but he talks to me almost daily. it’s a strange relationship, but it isn’t inappropriate. we don’t have romantic feelings, and we don’t cross boundaries.

here is an exerpt from a convo we had tonight, in fact. we are talking about the strangeness of our relationship:

him: you’re my bffbf.

me: bfffbf? what does that stand for?

him: Glad u asked
Best friend forever facebook friend

me: haha!!
oh mylanta. this honor can never be comprehended

him: “Surpassed” is the word you were looking for.
So when you’re talking about me you can say ” my bfffbf ____….”  Cuz u talk about me to everyone.

me: obvi.
my bfffbf. I hope I don’t get tongue tied just saying it

him: And yes. Our relationship may be weird, but it’s freaking awesome.
It’s weird to outsiders

me: yes it is
to both of those comments

him: Cuz I’m hitched. But the great part is… my wife is like, “Aubrey thinks you’re retarded so I’m not even worried. U could be alone on a desert island and I wouldn’t care”

me: HAHAHAHAHA
hahahahahahahahaha
did she actually say that?
please say yes

him: Yeah.
Nobody else has that privilege. FYI

me: hahahahahahahahaha
I am literally cracking up right now

him: Except for maybe Bette Midler
Cuz she’s old

me: I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered

him: Flattered. I’d go with that

me: Bette Midler?!?

him: Lol
I dunno. First name that came to mind
Which is strange, cuz I hate the view. Worst tv ever.

me: that is insulting to be compared to her
on a scale of attractiveness
or concern from a wife’s perspective

him: Hahaha
Forget it.
How about. Betty White.
Sandra Bullock.
Cuz they’re the same. lol.

me: “You are about as threatening to be trapped on an island with my husband as Bette Midler is. enjoy your hideousness.”
ahem.
that’s only a snippet of the conversation. but you get the idea.
the next comes in the form of my on-and-off long distance whatever for the past 7.5 or 8 years. (wanna talk about weird/complicated relationships? don’t even get me started on this one.) after months of not-speaking after his c-r-a-z-y girlfriend went ballistic on him for talking to me.. (seriously. she’s psycho.) he contacted me today. he misses me. she still sees me as a threat. but ultimately the situation has not changed.
(at least I’m not Bette Midler status with SOMEbody.)

thirdly.. I happened to decide to watch “P.S. I Love You” on Sunday night. it matched my mood. watching Irish or Englishmen on tv always makes me think about my first love. he is half English, half Irish. Monday, guess who contacted me via MSN messenger.. also after months of not speaking? he has a serious girlfriend these days, but we are friends and it’s nice to catch up occasionally. but the timing was ironic at best. how does that happen?

the fourth is one of my very best friends. this one is purely for your entertainment. he has been previously featured on Tidbits from Aubrey’s Text Messages.” our conversations should almost always be broadcast. they occur daily and they are amazing. today, this happened, as we were talking about comfortable states of being:

me: I wish I could just wear a towel all day everyday. that’s my favorite way to be dressed. I stay in a towel as long as possible everyday.

him: I can’t tie it so it stays.

me: I usually use my armpit to hold it.

him: And unders?

me: Nah. Defeats the purpose. Might as well just wear unders.

him: Good point. I don’t really wear just a towel. Too many dudes around.

Are you still be-toweled?

me: No cuz I’m about to go to work. I’m half-dressed now.

him: I was going to ask what kind of things do you do in a towel? You couldn’t do anything too active, or you know…nudity.

me: Not strenuous things.. but I think that’s part of the comfort.

*about 7 hours later*

him: I’m trying the towel only strategy. Going well so far.

me: Bahaha. I love that you are trying it. Isn’t it divine?

him: It’s pretty sweet. But now I’m just chilling in my room because I can’t really go outside.

me: True. That’s kind of nice though.

him: So I’m just supposed to, like hang out and enjoy? Text people? Read things?

me: Yeah. Watch movies. Play online. Have a solo dance party. Do your thing.

him: Word.

that just happened.
…what is my life??!
normal relationships are out of my reach. that concept is beyond me.