social media has ruined me.
I’m convinced of it.
I feel an inexplicable urge to tell the Internet about how too many peanut butter M&M’s made me sick or how a gay guy said I shouldn’t go without eyeshadow or how heinous that lady’s jeans (with a ginorm white butterfly-looking bleached out thigh bubbles trail) were at Walmart or how *gasp* HE hit on me?!? as if it’s anyone’s business… or as if anybody cares.
although… most of you probably do care who is hitting on me. because people are gossip mongers and they love to be distantly informed about love drama without having to interact. but that’s beside the point.
this constant need for reinforcement, telling people my every random thought, checking to see who responded, who liked it, who re-tweeted, who commented in any form and gave me any kind of notification is becoming ridiculous. have I become so dependent on electronic interaction that I can’t even have a normal hour alone without obsessively grasping at some figurative digital world at any given free moment? the answer is yes, and I am disgusted with myself. in fact, this whole thought process is ironically being broadcast to the Internet right now as we speak via this blog. why? because I am PATHETIC!
“I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my Blackberry, so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting!”- Drew Barrymore, He’s Just Not That Into You.
when the last thing you do before you go to sleep and the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is check your messages in like 8 different ways from your evil pocket computer/phone… you start to realize that you may have a problem. it’s called an addiction.
so… how does this go?
my name is Aubrey, and I am an Internet/phone addict.
12-step me back to normalcy, please.
except the truth is… this is normal anymore. these are the signs of our times and the movement that we’re part of. this is the 21st century. this is technology at its best so far. this is our digital world all wrapped up in the palms of our hands.. and it’s wonderful. and I stay in touch with all sorts of people I would have lost years ago… (or I stalk them without actually talking, but… same difference?) and there are benefits. it’s a blessing.
but my question is…
have I lost myself in too much noise?
can I remove my fingers from the death grip they have on my phone and my laptop and give myself a little time to just be with myself?
these are rhetorical questions..
but important ones, nevertheless.