here’s the deal.
sooo… most of my friends, aside from the ones from my mission,
are older than me, right?
and yet… in my mind, they are not old.
even as they pass mid-20’s to into late 20’s and start to brush 30’s…
they aren’t old. they are youthful and vibrant and interesting and full of all the best young yet mature things.
but here’s the incongruency that makes me retarded..
next month is my birthday.
it is my 25th birthday.
and I am continually having periodic private anxiety attacks about my age as it encroaches.
like… freaking out inside of myself about it.
see, in Utah culture, where I have grown up,
it’s normal to get married pretty young… early 20’s is pretty much the norm.
a single girl who is 25 is becoming a little more common these days, but it is not the norm.
of the people I hung out with in high school, I think I have like 2 friends who are still single. (and not only are they married, but they have a couple few kids each.)
out-of-staters would prolly be slightly disgusted by that…
but hey. it’s where I live.
but, that being said, it isn’t really the not being married part that’s freaking me out. I don’t define myself by marital status.
it is the sheer fact that I’m almost a quarter of a century old,
and I am living back with my parents…
working at the same job I had 3 years ago, before graduation and the mission…
doing the same old stuff.
where is the progression?
shouldn’t I have accomplished something bigger than this?
but I’ve done things…
I have a college degree,
I went on a mission that changed my life,
I travel a little…
so why do I feel so stuck?
I just needed cyberspace to hear that.