the other night my dad and I were talking about my dating life. we were talking about my pattern of rejecting guys on the regular (and when I say “on the regular,” take that literally).. since… I don’t usually like the guys that like me for very long. ahem.
and most times I can tell early on that it’s not right, so why bother getting involved? keep it painless and drama-free.
but he told me one thing that kind of scared me a tiny bit. he said he is not worried about lack of opportunity, but is slightly (emphasis on slightly) concerned I won’t let somebody in.
he has a point.
I can casually date like a maniac and keep it pretty surface-level, and it’s easy to fade out and move on. I’m basically anti-vulnerability. I keep myself pretty safe.
but here’s my response to dad’s comment..
the problem (and maybe the reason I roll this way): if somebody gets in.. I don’t get over him.
I can count on one hand the number of times this has happened. with a couple few fingers left over.
however, my consolation lies in the fact that on the rare occasion this has happened, I feel no fear in diving head over heels into it. when I fall, I fall big.
…kind of like everything else in my life. lo hago grande. (that’s what she said?)
so. in conclusion…
there is no conclusion for me. until someday. if/when my single life concludes.