on dating.

the other night my dad and I were talking about my dating life. we were talking about my pattern of rejecting guys on the regular (and when I say “on the regular,” take that literally).. since… I don’t usually like the guys that like me for very long. ahem.
and most times I can tell early on that it’s not right, so why bother getting involved? keep it painless and drama-free.
but he told me one thing that kind of scared me a tiny bit. he said he is not worried about lack of opportunity, but is slightly (emphasis on slightly) concerned I won’t let somebody in.

he has a point.
I can casually date like a maniac and keep it pretty surface-level, and it’s easy to fade out and move on. I’m basically anti-vulnerability. I keep myself pretty safe.
bad? maybe.

but here’s my response to dad’s comment..
the problem (and maybe the reason I roll this way): if somebody gets in.. I don’t get over him.
ever.

I can count on one hand the number of times this has happened. with a couple few fingers left over.

however, my consolation lies in the fact that on the rare occasion this has happened, I feel no fear in diving head over heels into it. when I fall, I fall big.
…kind of like everything else in my life. lo hago grande. (that’s what she said?)   

so. in conclusion…

there is no conclusion for me. until someday. if/when my single life concludes.

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2 thoughts on “on dating.

  1. okay so I read your blog a couple of days ago and I wanted to comment but I was comment-less. So today I was listening to pandora and the following song came on (see link) Dear Claudia by SouthFM. Does the song have anything to do with your post? well no besides the one or two lines that made me think of your blog. Am I sharing it with you anyway? yes. The song is morbid, a little twisted and probably all around depressing. So hope you like it. 🙂

  2. Wow, I know using the word “ditto” is obnoxious, but there it is. I am the exact same way and sometimes I worry that I’m a “vault” way to much. Actually, that was a nickname that a group of guys gave me in high school…”The Vault”. I hated it, but it wasn’t far from the truth I guess. Sometimes I feel bad for praying for the one thing that I keep shooting down, over and over, but I feel better thinking that: a) it’s ok to be picky (it’s eternity we’re talking), but it’s important to be practical b) I’m not going to marry every guy that comes along, just one of them. But anyway, for what it’s worth, I know what you mean!

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