December state of mind

oh.. what?

blog?

no, no. I… wait… I have one of those. it had completely slipped my mind. is it weird that it didn’t even occur to me once during the entirety of the past 2.5 weeks to even log in to this?
I mean didn’t even cross my mind.
I’ll answer that question for you: yes. it is weird. for me. sorry, December. you have my sincerest apologies.

why have I committed such a travesty? because it has been a rollercoaster of the highest highs and lowest lows I can recall in recent life history. my mind is entirely preoccupied.
to sum it up… I feel kind of like real life just turned into the Notebook in reverse + racism + long distance and including the conflicts… and I’d like to just put this question out into the universe…
why does it have to be so hard?!
it’s my own fault for always wanting nothing but something with some kind of an impossible obstacle, I suppose.
there always has to be an ” it’s perfect, but…” for me to really be into it, apparently. maybe because it’s safer that way. but it is not the time for giving up yet.

my current motto is: “Distance is just to see how far your love will travel.”

k.

and as a sidenote, just so you all know… contrary to popular belief, I’m actually a white girl. and there’s nothing I can do about it.

this is the kind of day for some Shakespeare.
yes, I think that would just hit the spot, actually.
so I’ll leave you with this:

CXVI

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-William Shakespeare

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