black hole!!!!

hahahaha.
really?… really??
this story cracked me up. oh you Smooth Seoul Criminal, you. what’s next?

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my pants are on the line.

I’m gonna lose 25 pounds by January.

because as of yesterday, I am in a contest with my friend, Cale.. and it is ON LIKE DONKEY KONG.
he’s trying to bulk up 25 in muscle, and I’m trying to drop 25 and streamline my girlish figure. whoever gets closest to the goal by January 1st has to buy the other person pants.
yep.
rules: no HCG, no anorexia, no bulimia, no steroids, no lipo.

awesome.
I am now strictly monitoring caloric intake and back to workouts on the daily.
I love competitive motivation.
..and I hope his wallet is ready to clothe my gams when they’re super fierce. muahaha.

ruff.

the following things are jerking my chain today:

arrogant girl drivers in white Eclipses

boys who tell you you’re “cute” when you inform them that it’s been 2 days since you’ve talked after a semi-fight (causing you a lot of internal turmoil) and you tell them not to patronize you and they say, “what? I’m serious. besides, making up is always fun.”

when Wendy’s forgets to give you a straw with your Diet Coke

snow/freeze-out weather

peeing in public bathrooms.. especially when somebody else is in there to hear you

working during institute

people who are outrageous jerks to my bff with zero cause

control-top tights

forgetting to remember rebates

incompetent people on the phone at work

and now that you’ve had a dose of Negative Nancy, here’s a little Positive Polly..

the following things are not jerking my chain today:

argyle patterned tights

the prettiness of big white snowflakes falling all around me

chocolates from Disneyland

reflecting on last night’s motorcycle ride through Ogden Canyon + hot chocolate in Huntsville with a (different) boy

french fries

the songs “You Make My Dreams” by Hall & Oates and “Don’t Stop” by Innerpartysystem

funny co-workers

admitting that I actually really like the show “Glee,” even though I never watch tv, because I Hulu-ed all the available episodes on a whim. (p.s. anyone know how I can see episodes 1-3? it won’t show them to me there.. and that is not really a Positive Polly feeling. I feel like those would fill a lot of holes for me.)

red spoons

kthanks.

currently rocking out to: “On Your Porch” by The Format

that vintage glam gets me right here.

last night I visited my adorable grandparents.
(and let it be known that I have the coolest family..
just puttin that out there.)

anyway, they basically made my life..
like so many people, I have an adoration for all things vintage. they fascinate and inspire me.. they’re usually glamorous or useful.. and they’re always original. it’s really a win-win situation.
and not only that, but I’m kind of a softy at heart.. I have this sentimental side that I sometimes sass over. I hate cheese, but I love legitimate sentiment.
that being said, last night Grandpa Harold gave me a vintage Polaroid camera, an 8mm “movie camera” (as he called it), and an awesome leather camera bag. I know the 8mm is over 50 years old.. it makes that fantastic whirring/clicking noise when you wind it and let it run. I am going to search high and low for film to use in it.. because how amazing would something like that be at your wedding, for example?  luckily, I probably have a couple of years to find it before that happens. and the Polaroid looks like a toy camera. it is boss! I can’t wait to try it out if I can find the right film when they start re-producing Polaroid film in 2010!! and that bag.. I love it. it’s so deliciously .. great.

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and THEN.. my great-grandmother (affectionately known as “Grandmother-Great”) had some jewelry out that she was giving to the girls in the fam. I picked this fabulous brooch shaped like jeweled cat-eye glasses.
regretably, I have no photo of said brooch at the moment. but it’s rad.

and finally, Gram brought out her jewelry, because she is just the sweetest lady in the world and wanted to make sure everybody had something. (I know. how cute is she?)
and she gave me this gorgeous gold chain (no, I don’t think it’s real gold) and pink stone necklace that was my great-great-grandmother’s. she told me she wanted to pass it on to somebody who would really appreciate it and why it was so special. I am in. love. with it. she told me my great-great-grandmother was very beautiful and well-groomed.. that she would wake up every morning and put on all of her beautiful jewelry, making sure she always looked just right. I knew the glamorous gene flowed down in my veins somewhere. 🙂 (sidenote: I just re-read this hours later.. and blushed that I wrote “jean” instead of “gene.” actually, I don’t really blush, but I blushed inside …no seriously, I’m kind of embarrassed. apparently I need to actually proofread before I post things.)
anyway, enough yammering.. here’s a pic I snapped of it with my phone last night.

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love!

 

 

currently rocking out to: “Rescued” by Jack’s Mannequin

so sue me

so my co-worker forwarded me this hilarious email.. and I’m going to include some picture gems from it after I tell you a little story..
when I was at Utah State back in the day, I took a Behavioral Science class. (I have a degree in Psychology.) In this class, we had a rat lab. literally. we had to go to a lab every week and study rats while we changed their behavior with lights, food pellets, and variations on positive and negative reinforcement. I kid you not. animal rights activists.. please do not stone me for my participation. I had to take the class to get the diploma, aight?
my professor was kind of a loon. he was convinced you could make people do ANYthing you wanted based on the reinforcement they received. this is true to a degree, but I’d say he took it to a bit of an extreme.
so anyway. he was one of THOSE professors who gives you purely essay tests. you know the kind I mean.. and considering what a non-fan I was of this class, mostly due to the professor, I rebelled in the form of studying as little as possible. the first exam he gave… bing! 100%, baby. thank you, thank you. the subsequent tests were not as high, because I seemed to neglect the studying even more following that kind of ” positive reinforcement.” anyway, on the lowest-scoring exam I took, there was a question that I had absolutely no clue how to answer. so I wrote, “I don’t know. so sue me.”
…..no points awarded. (for that question.)
when I got the test back, I told my friend, Buckley, about what I had written. he laughed so hard I thought he would rip his abdomen. he made me cupcakes a little while later that were decorated with “so sue me.”
so. funny. and for the record, I still passed the class just fine.

why do I share this story, you ask?
because these people were even bolder than I was in their test rebellion. a.k.a. failing with dignity.
observe:

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stick it to the man, eh? 🙂
currently rocking out to: “Drop It Low” by Ester Dean

el paquete total

aight, here’s the plan:

1. I marry Michael Buble and we live happily ever after. (holy c to the rap. have you heard his new cd? I l.o.v.e. it. especially at 6am while I am driving to work in Victoria the Volvo. that man can have me if he will just pour that melted butter voice over my ears everyday.)

2. I actually update my blog because frequent flyers are soooo much more interesting to read, and I have slacked off most recently. I admit it, ok?

3. actually, I’ma continue to do this whole post number style because I’m feelin’ it this way.

4. look at how cute my Shandi is while she snuggles with me on the couch watching “John Tucker Must Die”

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who needs boyfriends?

5. speaking of boyfriends.. is it just me, or is it raining men lately? my life cycles. it’s kind of amusing, actually… it’s feast to the point where I can’t squeeze everybody in who is pursuing, and then it dies off to famine. right now is a time of feasting. which is flattering and nice, but neither extreme is really preferable. let’s be honest. in between would work.

6. oh do you like my new blog look?
..thanks! me too. I’ve realized that I’m kind of a minimalist. I’m a fan of this look.

7. and that photo in my header.. that is a product of my latest craze. this craze is not a recently developed love, but skills are being a little more honed lately in my community photography class. (see cambria’s blog for details.) but it sufficeth me to say that I am thoroughly enjoying the excuse to take sick-awesome pictures. and yes, I did take the ones of me as well. cameras have this fabulous button called self-timer when you see a yellow bus parked behind bukoos that matches your shirt way too perfectly to pass up. so here are a few photos for your viewing pleasure. (most of you have prolly already seen some of them on facebook. I give you permission to scroll past.)

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8. so when a guy decided to be a ****bag and bail on the date HE asked me on without actually telling me that he was going to bail until I asked him what was going on at like 7:30pm the night of… I didn’t care. because I got to have a bff girl’s night with Cam instead. it was way more fun than he would have been, and pretty much confirmed my desire to drop him like a hot potato. we cooked dinner for her family, went shopping for THESE hot shoes:

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which are technically for THIS awesome costume:

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and then saw THIS movie:

I. loved. it.
it’s totally my kind of movie. I laughed a lot. and I kinnnd of want to be a roller derby girl. kind of. mostly the part where I get to hip-check chicks into a railing. I would rock at that.. if I didn’t fall on my face on those skates.

9. and speaking of falling on your face… I’m terrified of getting the H1N1 virus…. commonly known as SWINE FLU!! (what a heinous name. seriously. those poor pigs who caught it first will go down in history as feo epidemic-causing problem animals.) why am I so terrified?
oh I don’t know… maybe because my whole family has it. in the house that I live in.
so I am walking around in THIS mask:

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and quarantining myself in my basement room.. or just not being home at all. I have managed to escape thus far, but my hope remains thin.. unless I can make it to Saturday morning when my mom claims they are giving people the Swine Flu Spray at the Bountiful Reg Ctr. we are going to stand in line with probably thousands of other terrified people to try and save ourselves the misery. I just reallllly don’t want it this weekend. I have too many things going on to stop for the swine flu.

10. I have so many things going on because my life is full of happy. I have the greatest friends (they’re greater than yours. trust me.) and the awesomest family and the most amazing church and the funniest co-workers and the most entertaining love life… I could go on. but basically I am pleased.

and also, I can’t wait to see THIS movie:

11. and I never told you about events like Jackson Hole or camping up Bountiful Peak/Farmington Canyon or conference weekend when my missionary peeps all rolled into town or the Mexican Catholic wedding or sewing bags with my best friend craft club… these were all things of the best kind that happened to me, and I think I don’t feel like typing out more details about it right now. so there’s that.

anyway, this post has been jam-packed. I hope it went okay for you. I know it was probably a lot to take in.
sometimes I feel intimidated when I read other people’s blogs and they are just so COOL and happy and beautiful and radiant and sparkling and clever.. you know?

but after all is said and done, it’s still my little blog.. so here, you still just get me. and that’s it.

I love you guys.

Currently rocking out to: “Falling Slowly” by The Frames
and  “Worn” by Sherwood
(soapbox second: go check out this album, “Qu,” by Sherwood, that just came out. it’s $3 on Amazon right now, and you will be blown away at the level of good music that gets thrown at you for mere pennies. I almost feel like a thief for getting it at that price. support the music!)

resolution

well at least I know.

ticking off apathetic options is gratifying and saddening in a swipe.

I still have an array of wide-eyed, drooling opportunities

while my stomach is nothing but anxiously waning desire..

so that’s just perfect. ideal, even.

ready to move on from this small pond I’ve been drowning in

since the wasted, drawn-out hopes have dashed me on rocks

and I am left trust-less.

all of this is starting to feel like a circus,

and the outrageous acts swirling around me in the ring

are cutting off my circulation.

the tourniquet is so tight my mind is starting to twist..

because it can’t possibly be right for me to have these feelings

that are so suddenly and inconveniently permeating my mind crannies.

how could I? this can’t be correct..

after all this time, to be hit by a brick load of realization.

what happened to guarded control?

I have only confessed this to three ears,

and I have a desperate hope

with no faith to support it;

but I’m afraid the hope is taking on its own agenda,

and I am losing control.

when one is all I can think about

while I have four in my hand..

as my life starts to resemble a katy perry song,

and the leader of four leaves me only with empty, cheap regret..

I know my ways have turned old-fashioned,

and my longing is simple: that “I love you” sacrificial war cry

in place of meaningless faux-validation

because attraction is not love,

and not just any one will do — just a certain one..

it’s time for resolution,

and a possible scary-bold move.