I’m about to be frustratingly vague. stop now if you’re gonna be pissed about it. I’m not explaining. I just have to put this out in the universe right now.
I have a problem. it’s called… Ialwaysgetscared. it’s a disease. and I have it. and it doesn’t apply to the dark or to spiders or even to sharks (gah.)….
no, no.
this is when I have something great staring me in the face and I freeze up and automatically jump 10 months (or 10 years) ahead of myself. this is when I think about all the reasons why not and how inviting that potential pool filled with everything else looks. this is when I feel flattered and obligated and like I want to run screaming because I’m scared outta my freakin mind. inside. I feel it, I see it happen.. and it is nigh uncontrollable.
this is actually probably a root problem of Ijumptoconclusions/aheadofmyself, which is accompanied by the common side effect.. fear. this is kind of like what I used to do when I’d be doing ten homework projects at 2am during high school and have a break down.. and my mom would have to bluntly sit me down and say, “you are stuck on the big picture. you need to eat the elephant one bite at a time.” why? because I fast-forward and project and absolutely overwhelm myself thinking about everything at once.
this is a problem of expecting perfection. this is my issue. this is my stumbling block.
and right now.. this is me feeling like one big
Alazopram… it’s amazing!
And fajitas. Those are good too.
I have the same disease. It is the reason that it took me so long to pick a major and when I did I went about it in a crazy manner. I used to have panic attacks over my future cause I had to make the right decision now! Luckily, it has really subsided and I can live a somewhat normal life now 🙂