(yes, I know I haven’t posted the Hawaii one yet. I am a slacker as Tiff so lovingly reminded me on Sunday. the pics are pretty much on Facebook. but I’ll get around to it when I’m not at work. the problem is I don’t wanna spend hours on the computer after I already spent 8 hours on the computer at work. but it’s coming.)
so last night I went to a Relief Society Activity that I wasn’t even that stoked about to start with… in which we had a special speaker named Alisa Goodwin Snell, a.k.a. Utah’s Dating Coach. it was advertised as “come learn how to flirt.”
ok let’s just be honest, anybody that knows me knows that I know how to flirt. it’s a natural part of my personality that I can’t seem to really help, even when I’m not meaning to. sometimes it gets me in trouble.
so I figured this activity was not exactly what I needed right now.. considering that I have been inundated with men ever since my trip to Hawaii. (and that is no lie. I don’t feel like sharing hairy details because it seems like what I blog about in regards to guys always comes back to bite my butt, but just know that that is what is happening to me lately. it’s slightly overwhelming and kind of getting funny.)
anyway. I was pleasantly surprised at how great this activity was. it turned out to be exactly what I needed, and even an answer to prayer. I learned a load of stuff about male and female psychology I, even having a degree in psychology, did not even realize before. and that was the premise of the whole thing.. basic facts about the psychology of the different genders that are universal and therefore apply to everybody’s relationships. it isn’t somebody’s narrow experience dictating the way relationships “are” or “should be,” since that never seems to apply and everything always seems to be the exception.. it is about basic human nature.
anyway, I won’t go into every awesome thing she said because it would be the longest post of all time. but afterwards I talked to her and just said one thing, and she shocked me by pretty much reading into my soul. I felt like she had me on an x-ray table and she knew exactly what the issue was. (ask Cam, she’ll witness.) it was very startling. but I told her, “I am kind of backwards, because I am the one who is kind of afraid of committing in relationships.”
she looks at me and goes, “you don’t know what you want. you need to make a top 10 list of what kind of man you want to end up with,” (which she mentioned several times while she spoke earlier, a list of categories, not necessarily specific details, the first 5 of which are not negotiable, and the last 5 of which could maybe be works in progress), “but then you need to have faith that you will actually marry the kind of man that you want to marry. you need to tell yourself (basic paraphrasing, cuz I can’t remember exactly) ‘I will be able to marry the kind of man I want to marry if I do not give up what I want for what I want in the moment.'” she said all of this more eloquently and along with several other things that pretty much described me to a T.
um.. s’cuse? who are you?! how do you know these things? how do you know that I have an incredibly diverse dating history with every kind of guy I could have gone out with and that I always back off or watch it drop off at the 3 to 6 week period and that I ultimately really don’t know what I want, aside from a few certain attributes?
anyway she’s good. she pegged me. and she told me to go home and write the list. so that’s the point of this post.. I’m sharing my top 10 list with the world, but this time it’s different than all the young women’s lists that have been made.. because I’m actually going to believe that I’m gonna get this, and not just think it would be nice. deal?
Aubrey’s Top 10
1. Spiritual – Completely dedicated to the Gospel and the Church
2. Sense of Humor – Appreciate humor, be funny/fun. this is huge.
3. Ambitious – Goal-oriented, educated
4. Family-oriented – Every girl wants a good daddy for the babies
5. Have an Intellectual Connection with me – I’m including ability to carry on stimulating conversation and being a good listener in this category
6. Thoughtful – e.g. considerate, romantic, gentlemanly, understanding
7. Physically Attractive – to me. face it, it’s important. it’s part of chemistry.
8. Good Musical Taste – this is totally a me thing, since I think what kind of music a person listens to says a lot about them. If he is a little musically challenged, he at least needs an open mind for me to educate him. 🙂
9. Confident – mature, secure, strong
10. Social – I like people. I want to be around people. I want him to be with me with people and like it too.
sorry. this still turned out to be a supa long post. felicidades if you made it far enough to read this part. you’re boss.