glitter snow

today I was a procrastinator.

I went to Target and Walmart twice. I braved the line at the post office. it is the 21st of December. I must hate myself.

but for family home evening we went to Grandma B’s for dinner. most delicious chicken noodle soup I’ve ever tasted. then we went caroling in her neighborhood. it was lovely. my beautiful family sings multiple-part harmony on command. I know you wish we’d sung down all your doors.

and then later, as I exited Target and made my way across the parking lot, I looked up into the yellow street lamp light and noticed that the snow was falling ever so softly, to the point that you almost couldn’t feel it.. and it was so fine and tiny that you had to stop and take note in order to realize what was happening. but when I did, I felt like I was walking through glitter.. a million little floating pieces of glitter.
it was beautiful.

I finally actually feel Christmasy!

and THEN…
I proceeded to drive my mom’s car away without turning the lights on, either because the blonde chunks are getting to my brain or because my car spoils me with automatic lights and I don’t think to do such menial tasks. well I got pulled over. not one, but two cops felt it would be necessary to stop behind me with flashing lights. I was confused. the officer introduced himself, swept the interior of my car with his flashlight, and asked me if there was a reason I was driving without any lights on at all. I was quite surprised, laughed, and turned them right on, explaining that I had simply forgotten and just barely left the store. then I smiled and gave him big innocent eyes. he chuckled and took my license and registration and came back a minute later and said I could go. no ticket. but I’m sure I was a serious threat to public safety. good thing there were two cops there. good thing cops in Layton aren’t evidently bored out of their minds. good thing that was hilarious.
and good thing I proceeded to drive almost the whole way home without lights AGAIN after my final stop. no cops that time. but I must be insanely distracted. thank heavens I almost never drive the car I was in. I’ll stick to Victoria the Volvo and her automatic lights.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

un año pasado

solo queria tomar un momento aqui en mi blog pa’ dar tributo a la cosa que mas me ha afectado en la vida.. jamas. hace un ano atras, desde hoy dia, regrese a casa de la mision en Tampa, FL.. habiendo servido un ano y medio como misionera de La Iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Ultimos Dias con la gente hispana. esto fue la experiencia mas poderosa que hasta hoy he tenido, que mas me enseno como quiero ser yo, y que realmente es importante — mi Salvador, y que ha hecho por mi. siempre he tenido el ejemplo maravilloso de mis padres, quienes ciertamente me han ensenado la manera de tener felicidad en la vida y ser buena persona: vivir el evangelio. Pero hasta que sali y vivi en un lugar que fue extrano para mi para declararlo a personas desconocidas que no supieron nada de esta felicidad, yo no lo apreciaba realmente.
y mediante esta experiencia, aprendi mas que pudiera esperar explicar aqui en pocas palabras. no pasa ni un dia en que no pienso en la mision.. en lo que pase durante ese tiempo tan duro.. tan dificil hasta que no crei que lo pude hacer mas a veces. pero por medio de esos sentimientos, aprendi depender en mi Salvador. aprendi que el me escucha y que me comunica, y que todo lo puedo en el.. y que tengo el derecho, si soy digna, mediante su gracia y amor, de tener la guia del Espiritu Santo en mi vida.
aprendi amar a gente extrana y diferente. aprendi un idioma nuevo y experimente nuevas culturas.  aprendi comer cosas bien raras y a veces ascerosas. jaja. escuche a nueva musica y vi nuevos bailes. conoci a una gente tan calorosa y amable y hermosa que me enseno abrir mi corazon mas. empeze aprender tener paciencia esperando la voluntad de Dios en lugar de la mia cuando habia fijado mis planes. aprendi hablar con personas con las cuales no tenia nada en comun sin ser humano y hijos de Dios, pero senti amor por ellos. aprendi mas de lo que Dios nos dice en las escrituras.. y que ellas son tesoros menospreciadas por la humanidad.
pero yo pienso que mas que nada aprendi que la mision es sobre el amor. es para que podamos aprender saber que Padre Celestial nos ama, y tambien sentir y entender una parte pequena del amor que el tiene por todos sus hijos alrededor de nosotros.

no he sido perfecta desde que regrese.. recorde cuan dificil es vivir todos los mandamientos en la vida normal, y cuan ocupada puede ser una persona que no hay tiempo como pensamos que debe haber. pero espero que soy mejor persona que fui hace 3 anos atras.. y que solo voy a mejorar.

bueno, ya he hablado demasiado, pero solo queria expresar mi agredecimiento publicamente por el milagro que fue la mision mia. me cambio, y espero poder vivir de acuerdo con lo que aprendi de ella.
no puedo creer que ha sido un ano ya! este fue el ano mas rapido de mi vida. de verdad. adonde fue el tiempo?

o y apropriadamente, una de mis hijas me mando un texto hoy dia diciendo que esta comprometida. las dos de mis “hijas,” o sea, las que entrene en la mision como ser misionera, se van a casar antes que su madre! explicame eso!! ay carumba. pero esta bien. no soy la loca que casa en su ninez. jajaja.

no, es broma, estoy feliz por ellas. y mi dia llegara un dia tambien, al tiempo correcto.

ok. voy a parar ahora. y dejarlos con una foto de una familia guatemalteca y yo.. la grandota. jaja.

kmmbye!

December state of mind

oh.. what?

blog?

no, no. I… wait… I have one of those. it had completely slipped my mind. is it weird that it didn’t even occur to me once during the entirety of the past 2.5 weeks to even log in to this?
I mean didn’t even cross my mind.
I’ll answer that question for you: yes. it is weird. for me. sorry, December. you have my sincerest apologies.

why have I committed such a travesty? because it has been a rollercoaster of the highest highs and lowest lows I can recall in recent life history. my mind is entirely preoccupied.
to sum it up… I feel kind of like real life just turned into the Notebook in reverse + racism + long distance and including the conflicts… and I’d like to just put this question out into the universe…
why does it have to be so hard?!
it’s my own fault for always wanting nothing but something with some kind of an impossible obstacle, I suppose.
there always has to be an ” it’s perfect, but…” for me to really be into it, apparently. maybe because it’s safer that way. but it is not the time for giving up yet.

my current motto is: “Distance is just to see how far your love will travel.”

k.

and as a sidenote, just so you all know… contrary to popular belief, I’m actually a white girl. and there’s nothing I can do about it.

this is the kind of day for some Shakespeare.
yes, I think that would just hit the spot, actually.
so I’ll leave you with this:

CXVI

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-William Shakespeare

sunbeam

given that my vent session yesterday probably came off as a tad bit.. um.. negative, maybe?.. I decided I would write a sunbeam post.

this is partially for me, because lately I have felt myself slipping into a slumpy, slightly antisocial, rut in my life in general. a positive kick in the head might help. maybe. and it’s also partially because my gorgeous, hilarious, super stylin friend, Erica (a.k.a. Rica.. que quiere decir “rich and tasty” in espanish. perfect.) nominated me as a “Kreativ Blogger.” woop woop! (p.s. Rica, you nailed it when you said we laugh till we stop breathing. every time. it’s my faaavorite.) so.. here it goes.

1. Copy the pretty picture and post it on your blog.
Idk what this is referring to. not gonna lie.

2. Thank the wonderful person that nominated you and link their blog.
done.

3. Write 7 things about yourself we don’t know.

1. I have had exactly 12 jobs. and I want a new one.

2. I basically like everything that is peach or guava flavored. just saying it makes my mouth water.

3. one time.. I had a gun pulled on me. while I was tracting as a missionary in Fort Myers, FL. he was an angry man. as you can see, however, I made it out alive.

4. I know an embarrassing amount about Disney movies. seriously. I own “Disney Scene It” every time. I’m the oldest of 5 kids, ok?

5.  my favorite store is Target.. classy yet affordable, and therefore super dangerous to my bank account.

6. I am addicted to Bubble Breaker on my phone. whenever I have a dull moment, I pull it out. or when I’m on a phone call with a babbler at the crisis line. it helps my A.D.D. mind focus. and I just got a new phone exactly a week ago because the other one wigged out on me and stopped sending and receiving messages. and just since then my little counter says I’ve already played 303 games of it. oops.

7. I just barely stuffed tissues into the toes of my shoes because they are too big. and when heels this tall are too big, walking is almost impossible. this compressed tissue thing works like a charm.

I think I will skip the nomination part, except to say that I nominate any reader who would like to play this game.

and secondly, I’m going to add my own little dash of something extra to this post.. because I have not yet blogged anything about Thanksgiving. I really like Thanksgiving. it is delicious, but more importantly, it is important. it always seems to get leap-frogged because Christmas is just so dang awesome that everyone wants to sprint to it.
but it’s also important to be thankful for what we have. Heavenly Father blesses us in a lot of little and big ways on a daily basis, and I would just like to take a moment to write a small list of things that make me feel blessed.

1. a wicked awesome family who thinks I’m funny and who loves me even when I’m ugly
2. alone moments in the car when I can turn up the music and sing at the top of my lungs
3. friends who are beautiful, hilarious, talented, and love me for me.. they’re so cool that I sometimes think people just like me for my friends
4. the ability to create and appreciate creativity
5. hot milk steamers, cold fruit smoothies, peach rings, and grandpa’s mashed potatoes
6. a closet full of cute things to wear
7. a warm house and a soft bed complete with my down comforter and my boyfriend–the electric blanket
8. hugs… big ones.
9. the fact that I have a job.. and cool co-workers
10. and more than anything else… my knowledge of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, because it heals my soul and fills me with peace

happy holiday season guys, and I hope your snowflakes all have sunbeams shining through them.

The Holy War/Deseret First Duel/Source of Mormon Contention: My Take

aight. here’s the thing. I’m getting super sick of reading all of the irate people’s statuses on Facebook about Max Hall and his hater-ade comment, but I have to vent a little. I have to put this out into the universe and be done with it. I am a hardcore Ute fan. it matters to me. I love the University of Utah and I always have. my family currently has 4 students attending there. I graduated from there. I love it. it’s a great institution. I take a lot of flack for it. the game yesterday was torturous for me. I felt like both teams were sloppy, both played dirty, both made stupid mistakes, there were a lot of nit-picky and/or ridiculous calls made by referees, but ultimately BYU pulled it out down the stretch, and I accept that. I’ll admit I was not in the mood for smiling last night, and spent the night working off aggression at the gym and watching Audrey Hepburn movies to cheer myself up. but it happens. I chose not to respond to snarky text-messages I received about it when I did nothing to provoke them. and I still love many of the people in my life who attend or have attended the school down south.. better known as BYU. but what started out as a mild competition in my mind growing up has grown annually to become a hatred for BYU. and I know it’s bad, but I seriously dislike BYU more and more with every encounter. and things like this are why…

BYU Quarterback, Max Hall’s post-game comment: “I don’t like Utah. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their program, I hate their fans, I hate everything. I think the whole university, their fans, and their organization is classless. They threw beer on my family and stuff last year, and they did a whole bunch of nasty things, and I don’t respect them, and they deserve to lose.”

my take:
Max Hall’s comment: generally stereotypical and classless in and of itself. to categorize an entire university full of thousands of students, thousands upon thousands of whom are also members of the Church, in a “classless” lump who “deserves to lose” because of the behavior of a few fans is absolutely ridiculous. really, Max? you hate everybody and everything about the entire institution? I’m glad we’ve hit this level.

Ute fans behavior: the few who threw beer on his family and depicted his mother with a blow-up doll acting inappropriately WAS classless. I agree on that point. this does not, however, translate to the entire university and organization and fan body. and furthermore, you cannot tell me that BYU fans elbowing Kyle (who ironically went to BYU and played for their football team back in the day) Whittingham’s wife in the face was classy, thank you. but again, that does not mean I should hate every person who attends BYU because of the stupid actions of a few.

my beef with BYU comes from the attitude of self-righteous, hypocritical judgment that so often gets thrown at me from the direction of Provo. it comes from people so many times calling it the “Lord’s University,” when they don’t stop to consider the fact that even the prophet and many of the apostles and leaders of the church are graduates of the U. (President Monson spoke at my graduation ceremony while BYU had Dick Cheney? ok.) it comes from the implication of only sub-par Mormons attending the University of Utah, while only the truly righteous attend BYU. I am a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I served a mission. I go to church every week. I hold callings. I am active. I do my best to live it. I am apparently not as righteous, however, because I don’t “rise and shout” for the Cougars. (p.s. does anyone else feel like the Cougar Fight Song sounds like the Mickey Mouse Club theme song?)
But I do recognize that many of the Ute fans do not act classy when it comes to anything BYU-related. I know this. but it also should be said that Ute fans and/or the student body never claimed to be perfect. they never claimed to be saints. (heaven knows I’ve heard enough jokes about the U and all of its sinfulness.) I love the diversity of the student body: the different opinions and lifestyles and religions and cultures and veiwpoints. yes, there are many who drink beer and swear and whatever else, but they don’t hide and pretend to be something they’re not.. nor does them doing it mean there aren’t also commandment-abiding LDS students in the mix. BYU students, however, often put up a perfect Mormon front.. they abide by the “honor code,” they are oh so righteous, and then they do all of the same smack-talking, classless things throughout the rivalry– for example: newspapers actually have to edit comments by BYU fans as the game gets closer and closer because the language gets so bad. (and don’t even get me started on so many of the out-of-state BYU students’ hypocritical viewpoints and commentaries on Utah Mormons. gah. geography snobs are a huge pet peeve.. along with patronization and closed-minded judgment.)

Anyway, I realize this probably sounds generalized; and since I just accused Max Hall of that mistake, I have to provide the disclaimer that I don’t feel like this applies to every BYU fan or student, (please don’t be offended BYU fan friends. I still love you.) it just has been my overall personal experience in my own encounters.. and it is the primary fuel for my hatred of the Happy Valley area in general.

I’d like to end by quoting my friend’s Facebook status from yesterday that I so appreciated:
“Heather Y. apparently is classless. Congrats on your win, Cougs. Enjoy obscurity, Max.”

this is my soapbox.
rant end.

me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca!

 

just thought I’d brighten everybody’s day with that little gem.

very supersti-shusss

so last night was super weird for me. I don’t know what the deal was… but I’m blaming it on Friday the 13th.. which will hereafter be referred to as F13 in this post. (kind of like an extra function key I just added to the keyboard of life that probably is getting pressed when the inexplicable happens. i.e. to use in a sentence: ”I just got so F13-ed!”)

I went to bed a little late because I was talking to Lau on the phone. and maybe I was subconsciously concerned that I wouldn’t wake up on time? I don’t know. but I got up at like 4:30 in the morning thinking it was time to get up, and that I was running a bit late. I had gone to bed with wet hair, showering after the gym last night (at which.. Cam got stuck folded in half in the ab machine with her chin touching the seat between her knees, and it was definitely the funniest thing I’ve seen this week. I had to rescue her.) I blew my hair dry and did it all nice, and then I turned around and looked at the clock again. um yeah.. it was close to 5am. not 8. so I grumbled to myself and climbed back in the covers and turned off the light.

a little bit later I rolled over and looked at the clock, and the F13 mind control took me over somehow yet again. (aliens? I don’t know.) time to get up. I got fully dressed and ready to go and turned around to look at the clock to realize that it was about 6am. wtf, you guys. seriously.

so I pulled my jeans off again and got back in bed. I wanted to punch my brain. then I slept till 7:45 and was almost late to work.

what the deuce? seriously? why did that whole thing happen?

but the worst part is.. that is the second time this week something like this has happened. but the first time was more legit because I apparently had bumped my clock up by an hour on accident when I was setting my alarm the night before. so I walked upstairs to the kitchen fully ready to walk out the door.. and I realized it was 5am. I was seriously displeased. and, again, went back to bed fully clothed for another 50 minutes. I had gotten up at 4:15am.

bottom line: these interrupted sleep patterns have got to stop. my REM cycles hate me right now.

I got F13-ed hard.

sexy people in sepia tone and tunes that make you go yeah

guys. I went on a music binge this weekend.. and one of the albums I picked up on sale at my favorite store (Target, obviously) was a little gem by Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson. I was skeptical.. it was like 7 bucks.. I figured ‘meh. we’ll see.’
and I’m diggin it. check it.

 

Dear music,
you have been my therapy this weekend.. hand in hand with your buddy, chocolate, of course. and I am in love with you.
love,
Aubrey

black hole!!!!

hahahaha.
really?… really??
this story cracked me up. oh you Smooth Seoul Criminal, you. what’s next?

my pants are on the line.

I’m gonna lose 25 pounds by January.

because as of yesterday, I am in a contest with my friend, Cale.. and it is ON LIKE DONKEY KONG.
he’s trying to bulk up 25 in muscle, and I’m trying to drop 25 and streamline my girlish figure. whoever gets closest to the goal by January 1st has to buy the other person pants.
yep.
rules: no HCG, no anorexia, no bulimia, no steroids, no lipo.

awesome.
I am now strictly monitoring caloric intake and back to workouts on the daily.
I love competitive motivation.
..and I hope his wallet is ready to clothe my gams when they’re super fierce. muahaha.